Tuesday, May 23, 2017

The Flash: "Finish Line" (5/23)

This isn't part of the episode. But when I did a GOogle Image search on "didn't stick the landing" The Flash appeared in the fifth result, which is fucking hilarious.
For a minute or so, I was... content with the Flash season finale. Not happy, mind you, but content that a season filled with so much suck had been wrapped up so completely and at a level of middling mediocrity that was mostly inoffensive.

They were in the clear. Sure, another Wells was dead, but they get a new one of those every season. Savitar was gone, Iris was alive, Jay was back, and most importantly, The Flash had rid himself of the last vestiges of his time traveling, Speed-Force-hopping, alternate-universe Flashpint bullshit and could maybe go back to stopping crimes and being yelled at by Captain Cold.

Even the Caitin storyline ended surprisingly well, with her going off to find some kind of middle ground between Generick Exposition Scientist And Serial Love INterest and Evil Murdery Cold Villain. We take whatever agency we get on The 'Flash.

And then the Speed Force starts mass murdering Central CIty. Sure it starts like a natural disaster, but then Bary's Fake Speed Force Mom appears in a portal after Barry decides to sacrifice himself to the  Speed Force prison as penance for being both the pro and antagonist in a shitty season of television, so clearly the sentient speed Force is doing this on purpose and is as far as I can tell still murdering people wholesale with Speed Force Lightning during the eight minutes Barry takes to hug everyone and say goodbye. So maybe you can leave Julian out and spare a few more kids from being orphans? He's pretty new and doesn't need a moment.

The point is, we get to spend like three episodes next season with Barrytalking to the speed Force and not learning lessons and it's gonna suuuuuuuuuuuuck. All because the writers couldn't leave well enough alone and just say that since Savitar never existed, there's no Speed Force prison to need someone in it. Or just not say anything because what's one more logic hole in Season 3?

Did not stick the landing.

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