Sunday, October 22, 2017

Marvel’s Inhumans: “The First 45 Minutes Of Episode 3”

Fuck this show.

Arrow: “Tribute”

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, DIGGLE!
Oooh, so close, Arrow. So close.

The Flash: “Mixed Signals”

Hey, they promised a LIGHTER Flash this season!
Flash is solving the wrong problem. Well, it’s sovling the least important problem.

EMERGENCY PREDICTION OUTBREAK UPDATE: TLC 2017

The Shield’s new entrance gear!
The viral outbreak running wild on the Raw locker room has wreaked havoc on the TLC card, and as a result, I need to adjust a couple predictions accordingly.

Friday, October 20, 2017

MOTHERFUCKIN’ LUCHA UNDERGROUND! (The End Of Season 3)

Thanks to Wikipedia basing their info on tapings rather than airings, I knew this was gonna happen at some point.
The final minutes of Season 1 of Lucha Underground were one of the greatest things I’d ever seen. A montage of everyone leaving the Temple, rife with possibilities, but also full of mystery, because season 2 wasn’t guaranteed.

PREDICTIONS: TLC 2017

If you like tables, ladders, and chairs, one of these eight matches is for you!
TLC is live in two days from just down the road from me in Minneapolis. No, I’m not going. I don’t have “PPV seats good enough for my shitty eyes” money. But I do have predictions, and a need to redeem myself after my horrible Hell in a Cell performance.

Weekly Wrasslin’ Wroundup (10/16-18)

THE DEMON CANE IS BACK... oh shit wrong search term.
TLC is this Sunday, so they put some ladders on the Raw entrance ramp and pretended things were important.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Arrow: “Fallout”

ALREADY OLD THANKS ARROW
Ah, Arrow. Where would you be without angst? The season premiere basically established everyone’s post-LIan-Yu angst situation. Predictably, the only person who died on the island was William’s mother, paying the ultimate price for having slept with Oliver while not having any useful crimefighting skills.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Open MIke Eagle And His New Album



I spent the first thirteen years of the millennium looking for Mike Eagle without realizing it.

Weekly Wrasslin’ Wroundup (10/9-10-11)

DID YOU HEAR? THE SHIELD IS BACK TOGETHER.
Hey, a week with Events of Actual Significance in WWE. Who’da thunk it.

The Flash: “The Flash Reborn”

That’s how you fix a brain!
I’m not sure how to feel about the season 4 premiere of The Flash. I mean, it was deeply fucking stupid, as per newly established Flash norms, but at the same time, there were lots of flashes of hope for an entertaining season.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Inhumans: “Behold... The Inhumans” / “Those Who Would Destroy Us”

No, really. They showed THIS to people in IMAX. 
This is a surprise to nobody at this point, but Inhumans is hot garbage.

No, wait. That’s not accurate. Think about garbage. Then think of whatever garbage temperature you personally find the most appealing. Inhumans is the opposite temperature of that.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Hell In A Cell 2017

Woods really shone in this match.

Hell In A Cell broke with WWE pay-per-view tradition by starting well, ending OK, and being mostly shit in the middle. My predictions were awful, but in at least a couple cases, wrong because of exciting new directions for characters who needed them.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

PREDICTIONS: Hell In A Cell

What everyone wants to see. Middle management in a cage.
No Weekly Wrassling Wroundup because the closest thing to an Event of Significance this week was Kalisto joining the Cruiserweights, which is as anticlamctic as you can get. So instead, let’s go straight to the Hell In A Cell predictions.

Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin vs Hype Bro (Kickoff)

Assuming they bother to care, Gable and Benjamin’s story is that of the overenthusiastic fanboy and the cranky older dude, presumably leading to a turn and a breakup. That’s not going to happen here. Gable and Benjamin will just win. Maybe the Hype Bros will break up, because they’ve been teasing that too like anyone gives a shit.

Bobby Roode vs Dolph Ziggler

This is one of those tough to call matches because it depends on whether or not they’re committed to this as a feud going forward or if it’s just a time killer. IN the case of the former, Ziggler wins, the latter, ROode wins. Roode should win here because Ziggler’s new thing is stupid and tedious, but the WWE loves committing to stupid and tedious, so I’ll say Ziggler wins and they do this for at least two more PPVs.

Randy Orton vs Rusev

Having b et on Randy Orton once in 2017, I am legally and ethically prohibited from doing so again, because fuuuuuuuuuck Randeh. Rusev wins and I get this wrong.

WWE United States Championship: Baron Corbin vs AJ Styles (c)

Please. They’re not taking the belt off Styles. He retains, regardless of the match finish.

Hell In A Cell (SmackDown Tag Team Championship): The Usos vs The New Day (c)

This is the end of the current New Day / Usos run, and I don’t see any way the New Day doesn’t come out on to, even though the next logical contenders are Breezango, who are faces.

SmackDown Women’s Championship: Charlotte Flair vs Natalya (c)

OK, we gave Natty a title run, that’s fine, now ut the belt on Charlotte where it belongs. Charlotte wins.

Hell In A Cell: Shane McMahon vs Kevin Owens

Kevin Owens should win, but he stood tall on Smackdown this week and Shane McMahon is Shane McMahon, so McMahon will win and I will be sad.

WWE Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura vs Jinder Mahal (c)

Mahal got the upper hand on Nakamura on Smackdown, and it’s long past time for Mahal to go back to the midcard, because he’s shown me nothing as champ that makes me want to see this much of him. Nakamura gets the belt, and hopefully a long run.