Sunday, October 22, 2017

Marvel’s Inhumans: “The First 45 Minutes Of Episode 3”

Fuck this show.

Arrow: “Tribute”

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, DIGGLE!
Oooh, so close, Arrow. So close.

The Flash: “Mixed Signals”

Hey, they promised a LIGHTER Flash this season!
Flash is solving the wrong problem. Well, it’s sovling the least important problem.

EMERGENCY PREDICTION OUTBREAK UPDATE: TLC 2017

The Shield’s new entrance gear!
The viral outbreak running wild on the Raw locker room has wreaked havoc on the TLC card, and as a result, I need to adjust a couple predictions accordingly.

Friday, October 20, 2017

MOTHERFUCKIN’ LUCHA UNDERGROUND! (The End Of Season 3)

Thanks to Wikipedia basing their info on tapings rather than airings, I knew this was gonna happen at some point.
The final minutes of Season 1 of Lucha Underground were one of the greatest things I’d ever seen. A montage of everyone leaving the Temple, rife with possibilities, but also full of mystery, because season 2 wasn’t guaranteed.

PREDICTIONS: TLC 2017

If you like tables, ladders, and chairs, one of these eight matches is for you!
TLC is live in two days from just down the road from me in Minneapolis. No, I’m not going. I don’t have “PPV seats good enough for my shitty eyes” money. But I do have predictions, and a need to redeem myself after my horrible Hell in a Cell performance.

Weekly Wrasslin’ Wroundup (10/16-18)

THE DEMON CANE IS BACK... oh shit wrong search term.
TLC is this Sunday, so they put some ladders on the Raw entrance ramp and pretended things were important.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Arrow: “Fallout”

ALREADY OLD THANKS ARROW
Ah, Arrow. Where would you be without angst? The season premiere basically established everyone’s post-LIan-Yu angst situation. Predictably, the only person who died on the island was William’s mother, paying the ultimate price for having slept with Oliver while not having any useful crimefighting skills.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Open MIke Eagle And His New Album



I spent the first thirteen years of the millennium looking for Mike Eagle without realizing it.

Weekly Wrasslin’ Wroundup (10/9-10-11)

DID YOU HEAR? THE SHIELD IS BACK TOGETHER.
Hey, a week with Events of Actual Significance in WWE. Who’da thunk it.

The Flash: “The Flash Reborn”

That’s how you fix a brain!
I’m not sure how to feel about the season 4 premiere of The Flash. I mean, it was deeply fucking stupid, as per newly established Flash norms, but at the same time, there were lots of flashes of hope for an entertaining season.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Inhumans: “Behold... The Inhumans” / “Those Who Would Destroy Us”

No, really. They showed THIS to people in IMAX. 
This is a surprise to nobody at this point, but Inhumans is hot garbage.

No, wait. That’s not accurate. Think about garbage. Then think of whatever garbage temperature you personally find the most appealing. Inhumans is the opposite temperature of that.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Hell In A Cell 2017

Woods really shone in this match.

Hell In A Cell broke with WWE pay-per-view tradition by starting well, ending OK, and being mostly shit in the middle. My predictions were awful, but in at least a couple cases, wrong because of exciting new directions for characters who needed them.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

PREDICTIONS: Hell In A Cell

What everyone wants to see. Middle management in a cage.
No Weekly Wrassling Wroundup because the closest thing to an Event of Significance this week was Kalisto joining the Cruiserweights, which is as anticlamctic as you can get. So instead, let’s go straight to the Hell In A Cell predictions.

Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin vs Hype Bro (Kickoff)

Assuming they bother to care, Gable and Benjamin’s story is that of the overenthusiastic fanboy and the cranky older dude, presumably leading to a turn and a breakup. That’s not going to happen here. Gable and Benjamin will just win. Maybe the Hype Bros will break up, because they’ve been teasing that too like anyone gives a shit.

Bobby Roode vs Dolph Ziggler

This is one of those tough to call matches because it depends on whether or not they’re committed to this as a feud going forward or if it’s just a time killer. IN the case of the former, Ziggler wins, the latter, ROode wins. Roode should win here because Ziggler’s new thing is stupid and tedious, but the WWE loves committing to stupid and tedious, so I’ll say Ziggler wins and they do this for at least two more PPVs.

Randy Orton vs Rusev

Having b et on Randy Orton once in 2017, I am legally and ethically prohibited from doing so again, because fuuuuuuuuuck Randeh. Rusev wins and I get this wrong.

WWE United States Championship: Baron Corbin vs AJ Styles (c)

Please. They’re not taking the belt off Styles. He retains, regardless of the match finish.

Hell In A Cell (SmackDown Tag Team Championship): The Usos vs The New Day (c)

This is the end of the current New Day / Usos run, and I don’t see any way the New Day doesn’t come out on to, even though the next logical contenders are Breezango, who are faces.

SmackDown Women’s Championship: Charlotte Flair vs Natalya (c)

OK, we gave Natty a title run, that’s fine, now ut the belt on Charlotte where it belongs. Charlotte wins.

Hell In A Cell: Shane McMahon vs Kevin Owens

Kevin Owens should win, but he stood tall on Smackdown this week and Shane McMahon is Shane McMahon, so McMahon will win and I will be sad.

WWE Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura vs Jinder Mahal (c)

Mahal got the upper hand on Nakamura on Smackdown, and it’s long past time for Mahal to go back to the midcard, because he’s shown me nothing as champ that makes me want to see this much of him. Nakamura gets the belt, and hopefully a long run.

Friday, September 29, 2017

MOTHERFUCKIN’ ULTIME LUCHA TRES! (Part ONe)

This is the friendiest image from this match I can post.
I know I’ve been slacking off the Lucha Underground coverage of late (and that nobody cares) but not a lot happened except for concerns that Cage may be too resistant to the Gauntlet Of The Gods and some mostly filler matches to set up Ultima Lucha Tres, like a weaksauce Gift of the Gods match that exists only to set up a ladder match for GotG between Pentagon Dark and Son of Havoc.

Weekly Wrasslin’ Wroundup (

OK, fine. This gets a pass. Barely.
We’re back to a close-packed PPV schedule, with Hell IN A Cell two weeks after No Mercy, so attention turns to Smackdown, and Raw does a thing that looks like regrouping but isn’t really.

No Mercy 2017

Thank you for that, Nia Jax.
No Mercy was a better show than I thought it was going to be. Like most WWE shows, it peaked early, and like most WWE shows, the main event bloc was disappointing, but some superlative efforts by a good chunk of the roster made it a fun watch.

Saturday, September 23, 2017

RagnaPops



Oneof these stands head and shoulders above the rest.
It’s been quite a while since I’d added anything to the POP collection, which is pretty good given storage and display issues.

PREDICTIONS: No Mercy 2017

SPOILER ALERT: There will probably be some mercy.k
It seems like it’s been forever since Takeover and Summerslam, which is sad, because it’s only been five weeks. But let’s get the No Mercy predictions in before the show tomorrow.

Elias vs. Apollo Crews (Kickoff Show)

No idea why this is happening, but I have to alssume Elias will win because he’s on TV every week and Apollo Crews is an afterthought these days.

Neville vs. Enzo Amore (Cruiserweight Championship)

Man, three weeks ago I was prepared for Enzo to win despite the issues around his in-ring performance, but the last three weeks have taken away the one thing he brought  to 205 Live - his incredibly popular persona. At this point, it’s a tossup, but fuck it, I’ve bet against Neville and lost a lot this year. Neville retains.

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray Wyatt is wrestling at a PPV. The story is that Balor can’t beat him without The Demon. So Balor will beat him without the Demon.

The Miz vs. Jason Jordan (Intercontinental Championship)

This is the start of an IC program with The Miz, so The Miz will win via interference from the Miztourage, Maryse, or both.

Shield At 67% Vs The Bar (Tag Team Championship)

I don’t see Ambrose and Rollins dropping the belts or breaking up or turning on each other yet. I also don’t see Sheamus and Cesaro getting another run with the belts. Shield retains.

Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax vs. Emma vs. Bayley (Women’s Championship)

Everyone Not Mickie James In The Pool! It’s almost guaranteed that whoever wins the title will hold it only to be destroyed by Asuka when she debuts. So it’s going to be a heel, which rules out Sasha and Bayley, and it rules out Nia, who would need to be protected from Asuka for a while longer. Which leaves Alexa retaining or Emma pulling off a surprise win. Emma winning would be perfect long-term planning, but since we know from Sasha banks that doesn’t exist in the women’s division, Alexa retains.

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

The only way this makes any sense is for Reigns to win and earn Cena’s respect, which is meaningless to either of their characters but what the hell. Reigns wins.

Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman (Universal Championship)

I firmly believe, at this point, that they’re gonna keep the belt on Brock as long as they’re paying Brock. Brock hits the F5 on Strowman and retains.

Weekly Wrasslin’ Wrouindup (Sep 18-20)

Never a great week when this gets the top spot.
No Mercy is this Sunday, so a bunch of stuff happened on Raw, sort of. Smackdown was boring and racist, 205 Live was confusing, and NXT did nothing except announce Roddy vs. Drew McIntyre in two weeks, which I don’t even think counts as an Event Of Significance..

Thursday, September 21, 2017

The TIck: “Fear Of Flying / Rising”

Oh, good. That’s a mid-season break and not an incredibly confident first-season finale.

Preacher: “Backdoors”

Like the gun, the fire of the season leaves characters unchanged SIMILE!
OK. With two episodes left in the season, the purpose of the long, drawn out, mushy middle of this season presents itself.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

The Tick: "Party Crashers"

Oh yeah. That's the stuff.
After just castigating Preacher for not being fun, it's a joy to come h ere and praise the fourth episode of The Tick for being the most fun yet.

Preacher: "Puzzle Piece"

That could have gone worse. Well, not this date.
OK, I think it's official. I am unhappy with what Preacher Season 2 is doing with at least two of the three major characters. 

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (9/11-13)

And she can't come soon enough.
A weak-ass Raw, an eventful Smackdown, and a surprisingly important 205 Live made for an interesting week of wrestling. Events Of Significance:

Asuka: Coming Soon To Raw

The most exciting thing in the entire three hours of Raw was an ad promoting Asuka's debut. THat's how exciting Raw was this week.

Kevin Owens Beats The Shit Out Of Vince 

Vince McMahon, the good guy, threatens to fire his employee, Kevin Owens, the bad guy, if Owens proceeds with his lawsuit over management beating him up. Instead, it's Owens-Shane at Hell In A Cell, a match Owens seems briefly and inexplicably afraid of, before extracting a promise from Vince of no repercussions when he "beats a McMahon senseless". This goes badly when Owens beats a McMahon senseless, including a  headbutt, some punches, and a frog splash (!)). I'm always uncomfortable watching old people bump, and ither intentionally, or because of Vince's many, many blade jobs over the decades, he bled on Smackdown, but it was one of the best things to happen to Owens' character in a long time, even if the match with Shane won't be.

Jack Gallagher Turns Heel

I shouldn't like this, but I do. After getting his ass inexplicably beat by Brian Kendrick last week in their street fight, Gallagher came out during the Kendrick-Alexander main event ostensibly to get revenge on Kendrick and save Alexander from Kendrick's cheating. Instead, he beast the ever-loving hell out of Alexander and shakes Kendrick's hand. This would be even better if there were a Cruiserweight Tag Team belt for them to win. But in a show that's largely stagnant and filled with things even I can't give a shit about, this is a welcome change.

The New Day Wins Back The Belts

The Sin City Street Fight, like pretty much every UsosNew Day match this year, was hellaciously entertaining. New Day picks up the semi-surprise win. I've seen the stories that they want the New Day to set the Most Titles tag team record in addition to the Longest Reign, which is fine by me, but they don't seem to be stretching it out at all. This is good for these two teams but not great for the rest of the SD tag division, which is foundering while all this goes on.

A Nikki Cross Faceish Turn?

To go along with Sanity being the sorta faces when they beat Authors of Pain for the titles, this week, Nikki Cross became Ruby Riot's impromptu tag partner in what started as a handicap match with Billie Kay and Peyton Royce. And she did it in the most Nikki Cross way possible, because Nikki Cross is awesome.

OK, Jinder, I'll Give You That One

About halfway through a usual "mock your opponent" promo that was falling flat as Jinder Mahal said some mildly racist shit about Shinsuke Nakamura, he stopped, and told Nakamura why he shouldn't even want to be champion, because the fans will be just as racist to Nakamura as they've been to Jinder. It's actually a really good point. Not entirely accurate, but a solid heel argument.

That's A Lot Of Pipe Bombsd

WWE seems to think that we want lots of promos that acknowledge the alleged reality of behind the scenes perceptions and drama, so now The MIz and Enzo Amore are talking about Enzo's backstage antics that Internet rumors say make everyone hate him in real life. I mean, it's The Miz and Enzo cutting promos, so it didn't suck, but in three weeks we've had this plus three Cena-Reigns fake-shoot promos with maybe a little real shoot in them. That's too many.

Mae Young Classic: "Finale"

Size differeneces are funny.
And there we have it, Kairi Sane is the winner of the Mae Young Classsic and all is right in the world.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (9/4-9/6)

THANK YOU ASUKA!
I was on top of shit this week. Look at that. All the week's wrestling, including four hours of Mae Young Classic, watched by Wednesday night. Boom. Here are the events of significance.

Preacher: "Holes"

Moooope mope mope mope mope mooooooope.
Preacher needs to do a better job of making their budget-saver episodes not look like budget-savers. I get it, I know how television works, but this was a mopey fucking episode where nobody moved much and spent all their time in like three pre-existing sets.

Mae Young Classic: "Episodes 7/8"

Not what I wanted, not how I wanted it.
The quarterfinals and semifinals of the Mae Young Classic filled the last two episodes, and to be honest, none of the matches were particularly great, with the possible exception of Niven vs. Storm, and none of the people I wanted to win won, except for Kairi Sane.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Mae Young Classic: "Episode 6"

Yeah, it's from the previous episode, but nothing here was this awesome.
The back half of the Round of 16 couldn't compare to the front but at least, in three out of the four matches, the right person went over, and it should be a fun quarterfinals.

Mae Young Classic: "Episode 6"

Still think the pirate thing is a bad idea but it's growing on me.
The second round of the Mae Young Classic kicked off with some incredible matches, with several performers who underwhelmed in the first round showing their stuff with new opponents.

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (Just In Time Edition)

This, of course, was about to go badly for Alexa.
More Events of Significance this week than usual, and of course that happened on a week when it took me forever to get around to watching 205 and NXT, partly thanks to the extra four hours of wrestling this week due to the Mae Young Classic.

Alexa Bliss Is The Women's Champion, Nia Jax Turns On Her

Bliss beat Sasha in a hell of a match, but once again, extra title hotshotting back and forth. I suppose they gotta get in what they can before Asuka comes in in a couple months and destroys everyone forever. Post-match, Nia turns on Bliss, making her sort of a face now? The women's division is kind of a mess booking-wise.

Someone Check To See If Roman Reigns Is OK

Because holy fuck did John Cena light him up on the mic at their contract signing. Their match at No Mercy is official, by the way. I don't know if it was scripted. I don't know if ti was even planned. But when Cena hit Reigns with "I'm still here because you can't do your job.", it felt like a palpable hit.

Of course, one of the reasons Cena promo battles feel like shoots is because he no-sells the offense of every opponent. I mean, he's not wrong that his opponents have brought the same three pre-scripted arguments against him for the last three to five years, but at the same time, they've backed themselves into a corner. What can anyone say to John Cena at this point that will get him mad? That will hurt his pride? His feelings? Because nothing Roman brought did the trick, but someone's going to have to, someday, even if John Cena has to pull out his acting skills to sell it.

Some Shit Happened On NXT:

Basically, there's drama around the world title. Drew McIntyre has it. Roderick Strong wants it. Cole, Fish, and O'Reilly want to beat up everyone until Cole gets it. Meanwhile, Roode and Strong had their grudge match where Roddy went over strong and the whole thing was great. Then McIntyre came out to point at Roddy and got beat up by Future Shock or whatever they are. Also, Heavy Machinery had a squash match and they're starting to push Lars Sullivan, who now had "Leviathan" as part of his name.

Kevin Owens Is Angry

As predicted, Owens messed with Sami Zayn this week, directing his anger towards SHane McMahon to interfering in Zayn's nothing match against Aiden English. Crazed Anger Owens is fun, at least.

Enzo Amore Defeats Noam Dar

A Noam Dar cruiserweight match in the first hour of Raw wouldn't normally make the list, but it was Enzo Amore's cruiserweight division debut. The good news is, having Enzo in the ring immediately ups the attention the crowd is paying to the match, and thus, the heel heet Dar drew from beating on him and mocking him.

The bad news is, even Enzo couldn't get the crowd to react to the news he was on 205 Live, and this match isn't going to do anything to sooth the nerves of people who think Enzo can't fucking wrestle. He won with the same finisher one of th Mae Young competitors uses, and without some setup or a name or something, it's not much of a finisher.

Brian Kendrick Beat Jack Gallagher For Some Reason

This was cool, but I don[t know how a clean win over Gallagher after Gallagher spent the first half of the match beating him like a British Terminator furthers the story or the feud. I guess we'll see.

It Still Sucks To Be Baron Corbin

All he got to do this week was get upstaged by Tye Dillinger during the US Open Challenge. Oh, and get namechecked by Natalya, threatening to make Carmella "the female Baron Corbin". Ouch.

Jeff Hardy Challenges Miz for IC Next Week

He won a Battle Royal by eliminating Jason JOrdan, Miz's likely opponent at No Mercy. Nice swerve, actually. I think everyone was expecting Jordan to win. Also, as a result of this battle royal, we know Finn Balor and Bray Wyatt are still feuding, and we're not happy about it.

Mae Young Classic: "Episode 4"


OK, time to wrap up Round 1 with the last of this week's Mae Young Classic matches, including the best match of the tournament to date.

May Young Classic: "Episode 3"


The first round of the Mae Young Classic continues, with a mix of action and "action".

Thursday, August 31, 2017

The Defenders: "The Other Five Episodes" (SPOILERS)

So, That Hpapened
Because the spoiler situation was getting out of hand, I just barreled through episodes 3-8 of The Defenders yeseterday. It's all a bit of a blur, but here's what I think.

Mae Young Classic: "Episode 2"

Episode 2 of the Mae Young Classic continues with more first round matches, but this is probably the weakest episode of the bunch in terms of talent.

Mae Young Classic: "Episode 1"

The first four episodes of the Mae Young Classic dropped on the Network this morning, and as I work through them, I'm going to focus less on the results and more on who impressed me and who I hope to see more of going forward. As the CWC and UK torunaments showed, these events are less about who wins and more about showcasing the talent.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

The Tick: "Where's My MInd / Secret Identity"

Hugs and drugs.
Am I done with Preacher? Nope. Am I done with Defenders? Fuck no. Did I let any of that stop me from watching two episodes of The Tick shortly after it dropped on Amazon? Nope. I've been a fan of The Tick since the beginning. That other shit can wait.

Motherfuckin' Lucha Underground! "The Cup Runneth Over / The Cueto Cup"

Damn fine match to close the Cup.
Goddammit, so close.

Preacher: "Pig"

I'M KIND OF A BIG DEAL
OK, Preacher Season 2, we may need to have a talk about Tulip. She's spent almost the entire season scared or moping or traumatized about or by something. That's an uncomfortable amount.

Defenders: "Worst Behavior"

Still a dumbass.
Goddamn, Danny Rand is still a naive dumbass.

Preacher: "Sokosha"

Hop on board the soul train.
I have a huge problem with this episode, which is all about the Saint of Killers coming to New Orleans, wreaking havoc, and being presumably semi-permanently dealt with by Jesse Custer.

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (8/21-24)

GLORIOUS jobber squash.
The fallout from Summerslam is surprisingly muted, especially on Raw.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Summerslam 2017

STROWMAN SMASH!

Summerslam! Six full hours of championship matches. Started good, ended good, and sprinkled a LOT of garbage through the middele.

NXT Takeover Brooklyn III

Blacktight Invasion
Turns out Takeovr Brooklyn III was almost exactly as good in reality as it was on paper. Certainly the weakest Takeover in recent memory.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Defenders: "The H Word" / "Mean Right Hook"

This photo clearly taken sometime after Episode 2.
If you liked Daredeevil, liked Jessica Jones, and liked Luke Cage, you'll probably like The Defenders, or at least the first two episodes. It doesn't matter if you liked Iron Fist, because nobody liked Iron Fist.

Anyway, Episode 1 is basically Where Are They Now, and episode 2 is They Start Getting Together. It's a bit odd that we're 25% of the way through an eight episode show and we still haven't gotten to the part where they meet up in a Chinese restaurant and Stick tells them what's going on, but this is Netflix Marvel, the land of deliberate pacing.

Preacher: "Viktor" & "Dallas"

This ends badly.
Preacher S2 slows down for episodes 4 and 5 to give us the saga of Tulip's husband and spend a lot of time on the backstory of how their relationship fell apart after the Dallas job and Tulip's miscarriage.

PREDICTIONS: Summerslam 2017

No Sleep During Brooklyn
The next of the Big Four is this weekend, with thirteen matches over six plus hours because WWE hates us.

PREDICTIONS: NXT Takeover Brooklyn III

Least inspiring one yet...
I won't be watching it until tomorrow, but need to get these in under the wire. ON paper, this is the least thrilling card they've had in Brooklyn yet, but maybe they'll surprise me.

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (SS Go Home Week)

HAA! HAA! HAA! HAA!
Summerslam is imminent, and we had some pretty good build going into it, too. Events Of Significance:

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Post-Mortem: Seeso

See Ya
 Seeso is shutting down any day now, but when it shuts down is irrelevant, because I have slightly less than a month to watch what I wanna watch, because of course the monthly charge came through like two fucking days after they announced the channel was ending.

Post-Mortem: @midnight

Seacrest OUT
It's been about a week now, but @midnight ended a 600 episode run recently, and  I thought I'd look back at what it did, what it was, and the hole it leaves in the comedy landscape.

Friday, August 11, 2017

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (Week of 8/7)

First the Punjabi Prison, now this.
The Events Of Significance from WWE programming this week, as we head into the second-biggest show of the year, Summerslam, in just two weeks.