An Old Nerd Enjoyed Captain Marvel But It’s Been A Week And You Probably Enjoyed It Too

FEEL THE GLOW.

Look, people. Marvel makes Marvel movies the way they make Marvel movies. Captain Marvel is a Marvel movie. If you’re tired of Marvel movies, I can’t help you with that. I can’t help that we live in a time where a company is making three superhero movies a year with a level of craft and a respect for the genre that we literally never saw before Iron Man came out and you’re mad because you’re bored. Details (spoiler free) after the jump.

An Old Nerd Was Older, But Not Wiser Enough To Skip WWE Fastlane

Fuckin’ Ricochet, man.

Fastlane felt weird, impromptu, and sloppy. At least two matches happened that weren’t announced or announced differently, a lot of botches and sloppy work across the board (or sloppy camera work that caught things we shouldn’t have seen), and very little was enjoyable.

An Old Nerd Gets Very Vaguely Spoilery In Order To Be Ambivalent About Umbrella Academy

Be advised that the actual show is way less colorful and high contrast than this.

Continuing a run through Netflix genre drama, I’ve now watched the first season of The Umbrella Academy, and it’s... fine? There are no explicit spoilers ahead, but I have to complain about things that will allow you to figure out plot points in advance as you watch it. But you kinda don’t need to watch it.

An Old Nerd Gets His Fastlane Predictions In Before He’s Even Older

No, really, the team o the right stands a chance. What?

It’s WWE Fastlane! Or, as it’s known to people who watch it, “A bonus episode of Raw and Smackdown to set up Wrestlemania that they make you pay for!” Wrestlemania plans generally make Fastlane easy to predict, but WWE’s lack of attention to all but a few stories muddies the waters a bit.

An Old Nerd Watched Russian Doll And Promises Not To Spoil It For You

An intence four hours.

  bIt’s difficult to talk about Netflix’s series, Russian Doll without talking about Russian Doll, because it’s a good idea to know as little as possible about Russian Doll before you watch it. And I’m going to be the latest person to try and convince you to watch it. But here goes.

An Old Nerd Is All In For Kofi And Lynch

This better be part of a story.

Elimination Chamber happened a while back, and like much of the WWE of late, it excelled when it’s most exciting stars were on screen and was OK to dull when they weren’t 

An Old Nerd Wonders Where The LIghts Will Stop

A thing is happening on The Road!

They call it the Road To Wrestlemania, which is apt, because much like any road to an exciting destination, it’s pretty boring, and if something happens to change your trip it’s probably because something’s gone horribly wrong.

Anyway, Elimination Chamber is the first stop on the Road, and at least, unlike Fastlane, it has an important thing happening and an elaborate, ridiculous structure for it to happen in.