|IT’S RUSEV DAAAAAAAY|
Zack Ryder vs. Mojo Rawley (Kickoff Show): Mojo wins.
Mojo won, in a performance everyone said would mean big new things for his character, and the he was missing from Smackdown this wee because, well, Mojo. (1/1)
Baron Corbin (c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler (US Championship): OK. It’s not going on Ziggler. We all know that.
When will I learn to stop doing that? The crowd was fuckin’ thirsty for a Roode win, but it was Ziggler who took the belt in the end, leading to a dumb storyline on Smackdown that we’ll get to in the Wroundup. (1/2)
The Usos (c) vs. The New Day vs. Shelton Benjamin & Chad Gable vs. Rusev & Aiden English (Tag Championship, Fatal Four-Way): I’m gonna say Usos keep the belts and feud with Gable/Benjamin some more while New Day and Rusev Day feud for a bit.
This match was fantastic. The funny thing is, the only team not over as faces with the crowd were Gable and Benjamin, and then Gable gave fucking Chaos Theory suplexes to everybody, looking like he murdered them in the process, and then it was only Benjamin who wasn’t over. I should get bonus points for my prediction given that both feuds I predicted out of it came to pass. (2/3)
Charlotte vs. Natalya (Women’s Championship, lumberjack): Charlotte retains.
And she did, in a mediocre match that mostly featured Charlotte getting her ass beat by almost the entire women’s roster, which, until Becky Lynch comes back, consists of at least six heels and two faces. (3/4)
The Bludgeon Brothers vs. Breezango: Bludgeon brothers... win this dominantly.
Total squash. Sigh. (4/5)
Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura & Randy Orton (Two guest referees and a firing stipulation): Zayn and Owens won’t lose and won’t be fired.
As suspected, this match was a mess because it was about the two guest referees, not the teams in the match. First, a sure win from Orton and Nakamura was ruined by an “accident”, then a sure win by Owens and Zayn was ruined by Shane deliberately not counting three, and so Daniel Bryan rectified tings with a super fast count on a rollup to give Owens and Zayn the win. Ugh. (5/6)
AJ Styles (c) vs. Jinder Mahal (WWE Championship): AJ retains. The Jinder era is over.
Credit where credit is due - this was the best match I’ve seen Jinder Mahal wrestle in his new incarnation as the Roid Raja. He even did a new move or two. But AJ got the super definitive win here, kicking out of the Kalas and making Mahal tap out to the Calf Killer. (6/7)