PREDICTIONS: TLC 2017

If you like tables, ladders, and chairs, one of these eight matches is for you!

TLC is live in two days from just down the road from me in Minneapolis. No, I’m not going. I don’t have “PPV seats good enough for my shitty eyes” money. But I do have predictions, and a need to redeem myself after my horrible Hell in a Cell performance.


Sasha Banks vs Alicia Fox (Kickoff)

Really? This is how I have to start predictions? With a meaningless Raw match thrown onto the kickoff show that’s only happening because Nia Jax is pissed off or has a family emergency or has meningitis or some shit? Fox beat up Banks on Raw so WWE logic says Banks wins.

Asuka vs Emma

This is a tough one. HA HA HA HA HA Asuka, of course.

Enzo Amore vs Kalisto (Cruiserweight Championship)

Kalisto pinned Enzo on Tuesday so Enzo’s getting the belt back. No-brainer.

Bray Wyatt (as Sister Abigail) vs Finn Balor (Demon King)

Assuming this match even happens, thanks to the outbreak of everything bad coursing through the Raw locker room, if they’re serious about having Finn be Lesnar’s next challenger.. that means they have to have a fourth match at Survivor Series (ugh) so I guess Vocoder Bray wins.

Mickie James vs Alexa Bliss (Raw Women’s Championship)

Obviously Mickie would win this from a story standpoint under normal circumstances, but Asuka’s gotta beat Bliss for the title. The question is, how many people will they put Asuka through before giving her the belt? There’s a chance they could bounce the belt to James and then back to Bliss before Asuka, but I don’t think they will. Bliss retains.

Jack Gallagher and Brian Kendrick vs Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann

Nobody cares. The faces stood tall on 205 Live, so Ill give the nod to Gallagher and  Kendrick here.

The Shield vs The Miz, Cesaro, Sheamus, Braun Strowman & Kane (TLC Match)

Is it me, or is it weird that on a TLC pay per view, none of the other matches involve tables, ladders, or chairs? Maybe they’re going to make the Cruiserweight match a ladder match at the last minute? Anyway, it’d be insane for the WWE to have The Shield lose their first return match, so I’ll go with The Shield even though WWE often does things that are insane.