MOTHERFUCKIN’ LUCHA UNDERGROUND! (The End Of Season 3)

Thanks to Wikipedia basing their info on tapings rather than airings, I knew this was gonna happen at some point.

The final minutes of Season 1 of Lucha Underground were one of the greatest things I’d ever seen. A montage of everyone leaving the Temple, rife with possibilities, but also full of mystery, because season 2 wasn’t guaranteed.


When Season 2 ended, Season 3 was already greenlit. The ending was disappointing, ending with the arrest of Dario Cueto.

Season 4 of Lucha Underground is not a sure thing, although it seems likelier now than it did a month ago. Seson 3’s finale returned to the montage format, combining the “look at everyone” format of Season 1 with even more narrative foreshadowing.

But first, the matches. Prince Puma got the best sendoff you could imagine. He became the first-ever two-time Lucha Underground champion, closing the loop that began with the very first LU main event and defeating Johnny Mundo in a hell of a match that avoided the hardcore excess that’s plagued a lot of Ultima Lucha Tres. But his glory was short-lived, as Pentagon Dark cashed in Gift of the Gods, Dario Cueto made it Career Vs. Career, and Pentagon started the match by “breaking” Puma’s arm. Even though Puma taped it up and fought valiantly, he succumbed to a pair of vicious drivers from PD after Vampiro turned on him and left Lucha Underground forever.

The only weak point in this whole thing was The Believers. For the first time in three seasons, I was actively angry with the LU fans in attendance, who chanted “NA NA NA NA HEY HEY HEY GOODBYE” at Puma before finally shifting to THNAK YOU PUMA. That’s some bullshit. I’m glad everyone loves Pentagon. I love Pentagon. But jeering Puma like that goes against everything Lucha Underground is supposed to be. Fucking nerds.

In other news, Matanza defeated Dragon Azteca Jr. in a steel cage, in part thanks to the surprise interference of Black Lotus, who then turned on Matanza and Dario but got Wrathed for her troubles.

Angelico made a surprise return to drive off Worldwide Underground interference in the Mundo-Puma match.

And the Gauntlet of the Gods match was an insanely intense, bloody affair that saw Cage get skewers in his mohawk and skull. Mil Muertes won the Gauntlet by Flatlining Cage onto a chair, but KING MOTHERFUCKING CUERNO returned to take out Muertes and steal the Gauntlet.

Which brings us tot he closing montage. I’m just gonna summarize it.

Puma takes off his mask, drops it Spidey-style, and walks off into the light. Nobody picks it up, at least until the start of next season.

Cuerno has the Gauntlet under glass in his trophy room.

Sexy Star is signing autographs when a small girl hands her a package and says “She hasn’t forgotten about you” in Sexy’s ear. The package, of course, contains another dead spider.

Mascarita Sagrada promises to lead The Rabbit Tribe to the real White Rabbit.

Fenix and Melissa leave in the GOLD FIREBIRD while presumably Marty watches, and Ivelisse leaves the temple while Jeremiah Crane watches.

Daga returns with a bigass sword to join the Reptile Tribe by CUTTING PINDAR’S GODDAMNED HEAD OFF.

In the Dark Dimension, Vampiro reports to his own Dark Master, “Look, This Isn’t Skeletor, Stop Saying It’s Skeletor”.

Rey Mysterio is caged in the basement with Matanza.

And finally, Dario Cueto’s new contact guy from The Order SHOOTS DARIO CUETO for his failure with The Gauntlet. Before Dario collapses, he calls someone (on his rotary phone, which is awesome) that closed captioning identifies as “Puma”.

TO BE CONTINUED, MOTHERFUCKERS.