|DID YOU HEAR? THE SHIELD IS BACK TOGETHER.|
The Shield Reunites
Hey, did you hear The Shield is back together? No? Blame Raw, who only mentioned it and showed the replay of it and their second ruinion partway through the show like four bajillion times. Anyway, The Shield will be facing The Miz, The Bar, and Braun Strowman at TLC, so we now know the extent to which Axel and Dallas gained status from being the Miztourage. I will say, this is certainly the best reset they could have come up with for Roman Reigns. It’s amazing how the same taunt used to set up the triple powerbomb is over, and th used to set up the shitty spear is not over.
Kalisto Wins The Cruisterweight Championship
Cruisers get the main evernt on Raw, which is good. Enzo dropped the belt, which is good. He dropped it to Kalisto, which is... OK? There’ll probably be a rematch at TLC anyway. The lumberjack match’s logic made no sense. In a world where EVERYONE HATES ENZO, why would the lumberjacks default to their traditional heel/face roles? THank you, Corey Graves, for constantly pointing out how dumb that was. Match was OK.
Neville Quit Maybe?
This didn’t happen on screen, but apparently Neville walked out of Raw unhappy with everything that’s been happening. If true, it’s sad, because I really enjoyed his heel run, even if he should have dropped the belt to Aries.
As expected, it’s “I tried doing it the right way and Shane didn’t care so...” - Owens weirdly messianic joy beforehand was the best part of this, but Zayn’s promo wasn’t bad.
Emma Is The Sacrificial Lamb
The weirdest match on Raw was the fatal five way and oh yeah I guess it’s an elimination match to see who Asuka destroys at TLC. Emma was the only logical choice to win, as Alicia Fox and Dana Brooke are too small and Sasha and Bayley are too big, and so she stole the win from Sasha.
Peyton Royce Joins The Fatal Four-Way For THe NXT Women’s Title
Bet I know who’s getting pinned before the other two are even named.
Sister Abigail Lives And Is An Off The Shelf Vocal Effect
Bray Wyatt is occasionally possessed now by Sister Abigail and poor Finn Balor has to pretend to be scared by it. Nobody’s winning here.
Not a good eek for changes to Wyatt Family characters we’re supposed to take seriously, but can’t, because come on, that’s fucking ridiculous. Rowan and Harper are now the Bludgeon Brothers, a sort of modern day barbarians with hammers thing or something. It’s hilariously bad.
The Shield Reunites
Just wanted to make sure you knew that and didn’t forget.