Oh, look. Smackdown's opening with Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt, because apparently both shows this week want to give me overlong segments with guys I hate facing off against guys I wish were doing something different. Anyway, Randy Orton, Reverse Psychologist, is back in the ring, saying that Bray is scared of him. Bray is Titantron Spooky. Again. At least it's not 35 minutes long.
The tag division gets some time with an eight man tag for some reason, with American Alpha and Beauty + Manbeast facing off against The Ascension and EVEN EVILER USOS. Seriously, at this point, Jay Uso's now sporting a castoff Jay/Mark Briscoe camo jacket. On the upside, a minute into the match, David Otunga finally gets to tell his Rikishi story from last week, and it was not worth the wait. It's mostly Usos/Alpha to start and then CHAD GABLE'S KNEE becomes an issue again. Slater eventually eats a knee submission from the Usos, but we're two weeks out from No Mercy, so I don't need to fear a lack of a title change just yet.
Randy Orton visits the Bray Wyatt Spooky Set, which I guess they have roadies take with them between arenas, and messis with their wall art.
Speaking of tag matches from a limited pool division, Carmella and Natalya team up against Naomi and Brie. The action is good, but the match doesn't accomplish much beyond giving Carmella a relatively shenanigan-free rollup pin on Brie.
Randy Orton keeps walking around the Spooky Set, and it just looks like a bad amateur haunted house e up backstage in an arena, which, well, it is. This is all stupid and weird in a bad way.
The Miz has a homecoming celebration in Cleveland. You'd think he'd be interested in getting a part in the lousy indie horror movie they're fimling backstage, but he has "bigger" fish to fry. Those fish are in a video real of The Miz's most memorable moments, almost none of which I remember. Anyway, Miz's parents are here, as are Mr. and Mrs. Ziggler, who Miz shits on to call out Dolph. Miz points out that it doesn't say who cheated to win in the WWE record books, which makes me think those are bad record books. We get more Ziggler The Loser stuff we've been seeing for months, to set up a Title Vs. Career match that The Miz can't resist and Ziggler won't lose. It's a decent move in the storyline, I guess.
After Another Spooky Interlude, Becky Lynch gets ramp-attacked by Alexa Bliss as she was on her way to, I guess, have a match with nobody because there's nobody left in the divsion who didn't wrestle tonight?
Spooky, then punching, then Randy Orton puts on a sheep mask for some reason and fuck all this.
Lot of time left on the DVR clock as we get to Ambrose-Styles for the World Championship. Cena is of course at ringside. It's weird because the title's on the line but regardless, these two and Cena are gonna be fighting for it again in two weeks, so it matters doesn't matter. There's a lot of extra effort on the part of Ambrose, which is always fun to see. It's a solid match, but it ends with AJ grabbing a handful of pants for the pin after both guys take shots at Cena. Post-match, Cena AA's both guys to stand tall, le sigh.
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