Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (Raw)

35 minutes to gget to this.

Why watch debates when you can read a quick recap the next day? Sure, that logic also applies to Raw, but it was marginally less painful than the alternative, right?

Right out of the gate, without even a warning, without even an intro for Rusev, it's a rematch between Rusev and Reigns for the US Title. WHY, RAW, WHY? They wrestled like 22 hours ago in real time and I watched them wrestlie like seven hours ago. Watching Roman Reigns mat-wrestle is even less necessary than watching him regular wrestle. It's a 25-minute match that ends in a fucking double countout, and even on 1x fast forward it's pretty interminable. At least we were spared Reigns powering out of the Accolade two nights in a row. Reigns being Reigns, however, he has to win the post-match beatdown, including multiple chair shots, with a spear. Reigns takes the chair and sits in it as his music hits and my DVR timer says 34 minutes. Ugh.

Mick Foley is out to explain the dumbfuck no-contest in the Cesaro-Sheamus series. The answer is to make them a mismatched tag team and give them a chance at the tag belts, which are about to be defended. Poor Cesaro. Poor audience.

New Day - Clerb II is very similar to their match last night, except that the Clerb dominance starts a minute in instead of right off the bat. Long face-in-peril sequence for Kofi, hot tag to Big E, suplexes all around, then back and forth and shenanigans, but this time New Day wins clean when Kofi hits the Trouble In Paradise despite a pretty bad cut. Lots of energy, lots of action, solid match, I just question the rerun nature of it.

Seth Rollins cracked some ribs in his match with Kevin Owens. Somewhere, Finn Balor is looking up "karma" in the dictionary.

Bayley's out next. I think she needs to retime her entrance and not come out immediately. Maybe let the first verse play, then come out, so she's not dawdling on the ramp for 16 bars before the tube men. Bayley defeats Local Talent.


Cruiserweight Random Pairing Tag Match introduces Drew Gulak and Lince Dorado into the mix as they face off against Rich Swann and Cedric Alexander. Solid work from everyone, but the crowd isn't invested into these guys yet, so the crowd doesn't start to get into it until a hot tag to Alexander wakes them up. Swann picks up the pin after kicking Drew Gulak right in the fucking face.

Sheamus and Cesaro get their tryout match against Local Talent. They Don't Like Each Other So They Engage In One Upsmanship And Tag Each Other In A Confrontational Manner And Compete To Hit Finishers.

TJ Perkins has a backstage interview that Kendrick interrupts and demonstrates his experience on the mic.

Charlotte comes out to gloat about her win. Sasha Banks comes out to interrupt and demand a one-on-one rematch, and the crowd reacts stronger than it has to anything else all night. Charlotte's really progressed on the mic in the past two months. They set up the rematch for next week.

TJ Perkins and Tony Nese have a non-title match to introduce Nese and continue to try to get the Cruisers over. I'm a bit concerned with the crowd reaction here - I know it's gonna take time to establish these guys and make the audience care, but the type of people likely to start a CM Punk chant shouldn't have been bored by this action.

And finally, we have the Highlight Reel. Owens and Jericho are gold on the mic, so this segment is full of fun. Seth Rollins tries to come out, and is sent to the back. This brings out Enzo and Cass! After a fun little exchange of words, we have a main event tag match.

The match is very good, especially because it varies from the usual Enzo-Cass formula. Plus it's full of classic Owens trash-talk and taunting. Shockingly, Seth Rollins doesn't interfere during the match or attack after, so I guess his injury is legit. Owens pins Enzo for the win.

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