Saturday, June 3, 2017

PREDICTIONS: Extreme Rules 2017

Even the graphic agrees with me!
My ambivalence level for Extreme Rules is astonishingly high, and made all the higher by the knowledge that nobody is going to get pushed down cement steps on a spine board. So how extreme can it really be?


Sasha Banks & Rich Swann vs. Alicia Fox & Noam Dar:

The more I think about it, the more angry I am that the Street Fight between Kendrick and Tozawa wasn't given this spot, and would have been appreciated way more early by a PPV crowd than it åwas on Smackdown Live. Swann ate the pin on Tuesday and this feud seems way overdue for åååa ådecisive face victory and everybody moving on, so I'm going to go with Banks and Swann.

Cruiserweight Championship (Submission Match) -- Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries:

This has to be Aries. It just has to be. He can move on to feud with TJP for a bit until they elevate Nese or turn Alexander heel or something. But Aries can't lose this one to Neville and have anything ever make sense anymore.

Intercontinental Championship (No Champion's Advantage) 

Ugh, who cares? Dean Ambrose isn't doing shit with the IC title, so let;s say he gets himself disqualified and drops the belt to Miz, possibly being tricked by MIz into doing it, because a finish like that is the only reason to have this stipulatio in the first place. THen Miz can do his midcard belt thing with whatever's left of the Raw midcard.

Tag Team Championship (Steel Cage) -- The Hardy Boyz (c) vs. Sheamus & Cesaro:

I'm going to forcubly suppress my What SHould Happen here and give the match to the Hardyz. Cesaro and Sheamus get sidelined and The Revival get the next title feud.

Women's Championship (Kendo Stick on a Pole) -- Alexa Bliss (c) vs. Bayley

I want Alexa to win this, but this whole story is about how Bayley can't do extreme, and it'd be incredibly damaging to her and her character if she can't in fact get extreme and loses. So Bayley takes the title back in the worst possible way.

No. 1 Contender's Fatal 5-Way Match (Extreme Rules) -- Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Samoa Joe:

I should get to make two picks here since there are five peole in the match. I see only two strong possiblities here, since whoever wins is going to lose to Brock Lesnar at Great Balls of Fire. The options are Bray Wyatt and Finn Balor. My gut says Balor because of him getting the win stolen from him on Raw, but WWE logic says feed Bray to him after a month of spookytalk. So I'm gonna let myself predict one or the other because I need to boost my annual percentage.
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