|And she can't come soon enough.
Asuka: Coming Soon To Raw
The most exciting thing in the entire three hours of Raw was an ad promoting Asuka's debut. THat's how exciting Raw was this week.
Kevin Owens Beats The Shit Out Of Vince
Vince McMahon, the good guy, threatens to fire his employee, Kevin Owens, the bad guy, if Owens proceeds with his lawsuit over management beating him up. Instead, it's Owens-Shane at Hell In A Cell, a match Owens seems briefly and inexplicably afraid of, before extracting a promise from Vince of no repercussions when he "beats a McMahon senseless". This goes badly when Owens beats a McMahon senseless, including a headbutt, some punches, and a frog splash (!)). I'm always uncomfortable watching old people bump, and ither intentionally, or because of Vince's many, many blade jobs over the decades, he bled on Smackdown, but it was one of the best things to happen to Owens' character in a long time, even if the match with Shane won't be.
Jack Gallagher Turns Heel
I shouldn't like this, but I do. After getting his ass inexplicably beat by Brian Kendrick last week in their street fight, Gallagher came out during the Kendrick-Alexander main event ostensibly to get revenge on Kendrick and save Alexander from Kendrick's cheating. Instead, he beast the ever-loving hell out of Alexander and shakes Kendrick's hand. This would be even better if there were a Cruiserweight Tag Team belt for them to win. But in a show that's largely stagnant and filled with things even I can't give a shit about, this is a welcome change.
The New Day Wins Back The Belts
The Sin City Street Fight, like pretty much every UsosNew Day match this year, was hellaciously entertaining. New Day picks up the semi-surprise win. I've seen the stories that they want the New Day to set the Most Titles tag team record in addition to the Longest Reign, which is fine by me, but they don't seem to be stretching it out at all. This is good for these two teams but not great for the rest of the SD tag division, which is foundering while all this goes on.
A Nikki Cross Faceish Turn?
To go along with Sanity being the sorta faces when they beat Authors of Pain for the titles, this week, Nikki Cross became Ruby Riot's impromptu tag partner in what started as a handicap match with Billie Kay and Peyton Royce. And she did it in the most Nikki Cross way possible, because Nikki Cross is awesome.
OK, Jinder, I'll Give You That One
About halfway through a usual "mock your opponent" promo that was falling flat as Jinder Mahal said some mildly racist shit about Shinsuke Nakamura, he stopped, and told Nakamura why he shouldn't even want to be champion, because the fans will be just as racist to Nakamura as they've been to Jinder. It's actually a really good point. Not entirely accurate, but a solid heel argument.
That's A Lot Of Pipe Bombsd
WWE seems to think that we want lots of promos that acknowledge the alleged reality of behind the scenes perceptions and drama, so now The MIz and Enzo Amore are talking about Enzo's backstage antics that Internet rumors say make everyone hate him in real life. I mean, it's The Miz and Enzo cutting promos, so it didn't suck, but in three weeks we've had this plus three Cena-Reigns fake-shoot promos with maybe a little real shoot in them. That's too many.