Royal Rumble 2016

STOP RUINING THINGS.

Goddammit, WWE. It was going really well. Lots of solid matches, lots of good stories, fun spots in the Rumble match, and then IT happened. Well, let's run down the entire six hour extravaganza, because there's only two weeks until Elimination Chamber.

NXT Takeover: San Antonio

Shows what I know.

As expected, Takeover SA was a pretty decent show. Not a great show. Slightly better than on paper, though, and the main event really exceeded my expectations.

Oh, The Metahumanity! (Jan 23-25)

This week, on a special episode of Bad Idea Theater...

The WB is off to a rocky start as it heads into the back half of its seasons. Luckily, Agents of SHIELD is there to pick up the slack.

PREDICTIONISH: Royal Rumble Match 2017

By importance, or age?

WWE is coming off two horrible Rumble matches and a mediocre one. 2014 saw the crowd turn on the match when Daniel Bryan wasn't even included, and 2015 was the infamous collective decision to officially fucking hate Roman Fucking Reigns. Last year's match had Reigns as Poochie, missing for most of the match so that everyone could enjoy it, but with the announcers constantly wondering where he was and what he was doing until he came back. And then heel HHH got a huge face pop for eliminating Reigns and winning the match AND the title in an event so insignificant I'd forgotten he won it until I rewatched.

This year we're poised for a hot Rumble match, though. Reigns isn't in it. Cena isn't in it. 22 wrestlers have announced, and while Old Hosses (Goldberg, Lesnar, Big Show, Undertaker) and a new hoss (Strowman) are a huge part of the story, after rewatching every Royal Rumble match in order, I don't think it's in the cards for most of them. I can't really predict it, espeially with 8 surprise entrants, but I can groiup things. I'm good at grouping things.

PREDICTIONS: Royal Rumble 2017

Mind meld with the Rumble. Take in the Rumble's katra.

Because it doesn't really lend itself to pure prediction, I'm going to discuss the Rumble match in a separate post. But the WWE has six fucking hours to fill, and only one-plus of those will be the Rumble match, so let's look at the rest of the card.

PREDICTIONS: NXT Takeover San Antonio

BATTLE OF THE INTROS

With a few hours to spare, my NXT Takeover: San Antonio predictions. I'm not expecting this to be one of the all time great Takeovers, but it should be a solid couple hours of wrestling.

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (Pre-Rumble Edition)

Thanks for coming up with a good excuse for this match!

We head into the Royal Rumble with a moderately strong week, with good bits scattered across all four shows, but also mediocre and stupid shit across the board, too.

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (Jan 16-18)

TEN TEN TEN TEN TEN

Another rough fucking week for WWE. Raw was loaded with awful stuff this week, and the only shining moments this week were an OK 205 and an NXT that once again topped the week.

WWE United Kingdom Championship Tournament

Will also somehow lose to Brian Kendrick.

The WWE held its United Kingdom Tournament last weekend, and it largely succeeded where the Cruiserweight Classic failed, and failed where the CWC succeeded.

Oh, The Metahumanity! (1/17)

Tweener?

One more week before shit comes back in force. Luckily, Agents of SHIELD is off to a very solid head start. So to spea.

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (Jan 9-12)

ALL OF THEM!

NXT takes the week thanks to a somewhat lackluster 205 Live, even with jack Gallagher. Raw continues to be the more inconsistent show, with highter highs and lower lows, while Smackdown continues to be consistently mediocre.

Oh, The Metahumanity! (Jan 10)

JJ Abrams consulted on this Bad Robot.

AND WE'RE BACK. Sort of. Agents of SHIELD is back, at least, which means Oh, The Metahumanity is back. The CW shows should be back in a couple of weeks, and I'm definitely going to be checking out Powerless in February, because Ron Funches. Anyway, ROBOTS.

@midnight Power Rankings (Jan 9-12)

Not too bad for a "cas of" episode.

Hey, @midnight, you did OK this week. Not great, and in one of the weirdest confluences I've ever seen, every single show this week featured the funniest person on the panel ending up with the least points, but you did OK. The big surprise this week is Thomas Sadoski, who I wasn't familiar with and who was really funny.

Monthly Free Games (Jan 2017)

Hey, free Rayman!

Procrastinatio bites you on the ass. Had this all but ready to go and then I got sick. Anyway, you've got like ten hours left to grab the mediocre Outlast if you want it. Another sluggish month for free games, overall.

@midnight Power Rankings (Jan 3-5)

Hard to believe they've done this 500 times.

It's a new year for @midnight, which means... nothing, really. Well, a short week from the holiday and a 500th episode rife with talent. A somewhat subdued Kyle Kinane managed to not top the charts this week despite calling Chris Hardwick "a leprechaun with a court date", which I love.

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (Jan 2-5)

DOS! DOS! DOS!

A pretty OK week for WWE overall, with 205 Live picking up a lot of the slack Raw left behind, and Smackdown doing its Smackdown thing that everyone else likes more than me but even I admit doesn't usually just suck.

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (End Of 2016)

EXTRAORIDINARY

For the record, even though I never got around to posting a Wroundup last week, I really did enjoy most of what WWE put out from last week, especially everything Cesaro did on Raw and the "La Luchadora" bit on Smackdown.