Saturday, January 6, 2018

Weekly Wrasslin’ Wroundup (The Holidays)

Sure, go with that.
The holiday weeks of WWE were more eventful than I thought they’d be, but still pretty light on content. I could mention stuff like The Not Bullet Club reunion, but that doesn’t really mean anything now, does it? EVENTS OF SIGNIFICANCE:

Jason Jordan and Setch Rollins Are The New Tag Champs

There’s no way this can be a good decision, made calmly and reasonably by WWE management. Dean Ambrose is out for months. Nine of them, if you believe WWE.I kind of like where they’re going with Jordan, as someone who thinks he’s equal to Rollins and Reigns in the pecking orde, but it’s a little ugly how it reinforces the pecking order.

It’s Roode and Mahal and English In The US Title Tournament

Roode defeated Corbin with a rollup, and Mahal defeated an unmilkcartoned Tye Dillinger definitively as part of the new US Title Tournament caused by Dolph Ziggler’s walkout. Woods beat Engish in a fun match that elevated both guys even if either of them will totally job to Mahal and Mojo Rawley will job to Bobby Roode after he inevitably beats Ryder in their first round match. I’m 50/50 on whether Roode or Mahal will win, though.

30 Woman Royal Rumble

Thanks to Tights and Fights doing the counting for me, I know there are 17 eligible women on the main roster, leaving 13 slots to fill with NXT and Mae Young padding and surprise nostalgia pops. That’s a LOT of padding for the sake of equality, but I appreciate the principle, if not the execution. NOt sure why they’re bothering having main roster talent officially declare since if you’re breathing and have the right chromosomes, you’ll be in the match, but whatever.

Braun Strwoman Continues To Be Awesome

A couple of minutes into his match with Rhyno, Braun Strowman grabbed a mic and issued the following statement to Heath Slater:

"Look, you got two options, you cheerleader: You're either gonna stand on the floor and shut your mouth or you're gonna get in the ring and get these hands like your partner."

And he said it with SO MUCH charismatic menace that, like the time he threw a fucking office chair at Roman Reigns, it became another defining moment for a man that was, not too long ago, Bray Wyatt’s new can’t-fall-down buddy. Strowman is magical, and WWE better not ruin him.

The Kevin-Sami-AJ-Shane-Bryan Thing Keeps Going

It’s all entertaining, but it also all feels like it’s killing time and not going anywhere that makes sense. Now it’s AJ vs. Kevin AND Sami in a handicap title match at the Rumble, but it’s still mostly about Bryan and Shane arguing.

Goldust Is A Cruiserweight Now Or Something

I don’t understand it either.

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