Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (Week of 8/7)

First the Punjabi Prison, now this.

The Events Of Significance from WWE programming this week, as we head into the second-biggest show of the year, Summerslam, in just two weeks.


We Paid For The Shark Cage

When Big Show and Cass wrestle at Summerslam, Enzo Amore will be suspended above the ring in the shark cage they built to have a live action version of a toy back when WWE was pretending it wasn't cutting costs at every corner. This is an awful idea, unless Enzo smuggles a live mic into the cage with him and talks during the entire match, at which point it becomes the best idea ever.

Baron Corbin Has New Music. It Doesn't Help.

Corbin came out to his new music to interrupt John Cena seriously putting Nakamura over in his show-opening promo. It's Corbin vs. Cena at Summerslam, so Corbin will only be hearing his new music once that night. Cena also used a crowd sign to start a "DUMPSTER FIRE CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP" chant against Corbin, which I hope follows him for the rest of his career.

James Ellsworth Is Back

I would say this means the Women's Division on SMackdown could start to fail the Bechdel Test again, but Carmella's "Free James Ellsworthh" shirt means it's been failing the entire time he was gone.

BRAUN STROWMAN THREW A PADDED FUCKING ANNOUNCER'S CHAIR AT ROMAN REIGNS' FACE

Most of Raw was garbage. Most of the Last Man Standing match was garbage. But this spot was amazing. Also, Surprise Pop-Up Samoa Joe was amazing.

I Guess Bayley's Really Injured

Nia Jax faces Sasha Banks next week to see who challenges Bliss for the title at Summerslam.

Gargano Vs. Almas At Takeover Brooklyn

After squashing No Way Jose to demonstrate that Almas is newly motivated and more aggressive due to the invluence of Selina Vega, she announced he'd accept Gargano's desire for a match at Takeover. Problematic.

Toronto Hates Jason Jordan

Kurt Angle's Fake Black Son (hat tip to Tights and Fights) squashed a jobber and got hated on for it and for this angle and for everything.

Fashion Peaks Continues

Fandango is back, and Arn Anderson murdered their stuffed horse Kudos for the dig at the new Twin Peaks..

Danny Birch and Oney Lorcan Beat The Shit Out Of Each Other Again

Birch won, setting up an inevitable and entertaining rubber match down the road.

Street Profits Debut On NXT

Just when wrestling was making me slightly more comfortable with its attitudes toward racial stereotypes, too.