Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Monday Night Raw (4/3)

Nope. Nobody likes you.
First things first. I know it's a tradition for the audiences after Mania to be a bunch of rowdy assholes trying to get themselves over and ignore the matches. And it's also the WWE's tradition to have the announcers present this as "none of this matters this is just fan passion". But we all know this is a mixed bag at best, really only useful for making debuting NXT people seem like huge stars as the smark crowd cheers for them. Last year we got Enzo and Cass, and this year, we got... The Revival.

The Revival beat The New Day in their Raw debut, which is fine, but Raw doesn't need The Revival. Well, it does, but if the Revival are gonna be on Raw, that means Raw doesn't need Gallows and Anderson. I'm seriously thinking next week's Superstar Shakeup is going to rectfy that, since The Clerb just lost a rematch to The Hardy's this week and have nothing to do.

Also "debuting" this week: Emma, who took part in a meaningless six-person Women's match to celebrate the fact that the Raw women's division now has six active wrestlers in it. Emma was gone for a year, teased a character change, and came back the same as before, Evil Emma music and everything. I don't have a problem with Emma, but what the fuck?

In continuity news, apparently the Apron Powerbomb that"took Sami Zayn out" for nine months took Chris Jericho out for about 18 hours and he was fine but then he got put through a table and died or something. Anyway, he's nog tone yet and scheduled for a Kevin Owens rematch at Payback, because why finish that show at the biggest event of the year when you can finish it at the smallest?  Also, Seth Rollins, who had to sign a thing and have a non-sanctioned match at Mania because he wasn't medically cleared to wrestle was fine a day later after HHH attacked his knee over and over.

Kurt Angle is the new GM, as rumored, and he's great. Finn Balor's back, fucking around in the layer just below the Universal Title layer where Samoa Joe and Seth Rollins have been living for the past month. The title picture apparently consists of Lesnar, the champ; Reigns, who everyone hates, and Strowman, who hates everybody. I'm not interested in any of those matches. Especially since they are inexplicably trying to make Lesnar a heel and Reigns a face.

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