Weekly Wrasslin’ Wroundup (4/9-4/11)

Hey, they called it the Eclipse right off the bat!

OK, the post-Mania week of shows is non-stop EVENTS OF SIGNIFICANCE< so I just need to plow through them.


CALLUPS!

Ember Moon to Raw: Expected, nicely paired with new champ Nia Jax.
Authors of Pain to Raw: Expected, squashed Rhyno and Slater, not involved in the new tag team mini tournament. They also ditched Paul Ellering, which sucks for him but their dynamic never worked for me in NXT so that’s fine.
No Way Jose to Raw: Bit of a surprise. He didn’t do much in NXT and I expect the trend to continue on Raw. Maybe in three years he’ll get to join the New Miztourage.
IIConics to Smackdown: They’ll always be the Aussie Mean Girls to me. Made a pretty solid impact.

RETURNS:

Bobby Lashley: Yawn. He’ll probably end up in the main event, too.
Jeff Hardy: Back from injury, mostly being Jeff Hardy but humoring his brother in an entertaining way.
Samoa Joe: Back from injury to yell at Roman Reigns. I’m fine with that.

DEVELOPMENTS:

Braun Strowman vacated the Tag Team Titles due to Nicholas’ scheduling conflicts. Good way outi of that whole thing. Now there’s a mini-tourney . I had to look up who advanced in it ‘cause I dind’t remember. Turns out it was the Revival (yay!) and Hardy/Wyatt (meh).

Paige retired on Raw, then showed up on Smackdown the next day as Daniel Bryan’s replacement as GM, which worked for me on an emotional level. Then Paige disappeared for the entire show not GMing anything, which didn’t work for me on a logical level.

Carmella cashed in her Money IN The Bank briefcase and won the SD Women’s Championship after IIconics beat the crap out of Charlotte. This is acceptable.

Shinsuke Nakamura low blew AJ Styles twice at the end of Smackdown, with a lovely flourish, dumping him unceremoniously over his showlders afterwards.

Usos vs. Bludgeons for th etitle in Saudi Arabia. I cannot imagine them winning.

Reigns will challenge Lesnar again for the title in a cage in Saudi Arabia. We know how I feel about that.

Kevin Ownes and Sami ZAayn are the new Heath Slater, looking for jobs on Raw after staying fired from Smackdown. Kurt Angle makes them fight for the one open slot on the Raw roster, which is what you get for calling up No Way Jose. But it ends in a double countout, so they’re both in limbo for the time being. ONE OF THEM GOT KIDS.

Orton will challenge Jinder Mahal at Backlash for the US Title, meaning Backlash will take me ten fewer minutes to watch.