Saturday, February 11, 2017

Elimination Chamber PREDICTIONS

So ridiculous.
It's a quantity over quality card for Elimination Chamber. Two of these have got to go on the pre-show, that's the only way it'll work. I'm betting Ziggler's match and Nikki-Natalya. I'm also predicting I won't enjoy this much.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Apollo Crews and Kalisto

The story leading into this is a mess and I don't understand the idea behind two faces in a handicap match against a heel. Especially a heel whose heelness isn't really fully cemented. Ziggler's got to win this to maintain his new character's credibility, such as it is.

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

I think this needs to be the blowoff. Well, I know I need it to be, but I think it's going to be, which means Nikki Bella has to win.

American Alpha vs. The Usos vs. The Ascension vs. The Vaudevillains vs. Heath Slater and Rhyno vs. Breezango (Tag Team Turmoil)

There's only one reason to make a match like this. Possibly two that go hand in hand. And that's to take American Alpha, put them in first, and have them convincingly defeat, in this order, The Vaudevillains, Breezango, The Ascension, Slater/Rhyno, and The Usos to retain the tag team titles. And possibly bring in Kurt Angle as their manager.

Randy Orton vs. Luke Harper

I predict this will be the shittiest match on the card, for one thing. I do not care. But this match and this story only makes sense as a double turn, with Luke Harper rejoining Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton breaking away from the Wyatt Family, and Luke Harper winning with Wyatt's help.

Becky Lynch vs. Mickie James

This is a tough one. Mickie James hasn't had a real proper singles match on Smackdown and that usually means she'd win. But at the same time, this is a revenge match, and that's a story that would normally end with Becky triumphant. Given the amount of time between now and Mania, I'm going to go with Mickie James winning and the feud continuing.

Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi (Women's Championship)

I'm not super confident about htis pick, because I care more about this stuff than WWE does, but whoever beats Bliss needs to chase Bliss, and Naomi hasn't been chasing Bliss. She's been chasing getting a match with Bliss for a couple weeks, but chasing Bliss is different. And also sounds like the title to a self help book. Alexa retains.

John Cena vs. AJ Styles vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz vs. Baron Corbin (World Championship, Elimination Chamber)

Randy Orton winning the Rumble points to a Bray Wyatt win here, and that's the prediction I'm going with. Especially since John Cena can't win a 17th time until he loses his 16th, and the nature of the EC is such that he can lose the belt without a real loss. Not that that's as big a deal for Cena these days as it is for Reigns, but still. That said, if I'm wrong about the Orton-Harper match, expect me to be wrong here too.

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