|Thanks for coming up with a good excuse for this match!
(Raw) Seth Rollins lost his Royal Rumble spot to Sami Zayn via interference by HHH's music and a rollup. Really the only way that match could have gone, given the setup, and they're finally actually sort of bringing HHH into this feud beyond Seth Rollins calling him out. Plus the match beforehand was great stuff.
(SD) AJ Styles is RIGHT. Being relegated to the back of the Rumble poster and being referred to as "a guy from Atlanta" on the Today Show is some bullshit. Even if I know how and why that bullshit exists, that AJ Styles coming up on the Today Show is like Cedric Alexander showing up on Raw - the audience doesn't understand why it's important. AJ has had some kind of mic skill breakthrough. Some Henry Higgins shit up in there. Cena's response is practically a heel turn.
(205) Neville defeated Cedric Alexander in a solid match despite a botched finish. Noam Dar interfered, so they'll be feuding after the Rumble.
(NXT) The in-ring promo between Asuka, Billie Kay, Peyton Royce, and Nikki Cross devolved into an insane brawl featuring Cross and Asuka taking out the security team and beating on each other while Kay and Royce wonder what they got into.
(205) Textbook heel promo and work by Brian Kendrick as he squashed a local guy.
(Raw) Bayley's backstage interview promoting promoting her title match against Charlotte. I think it could've used more "and I'm also a really good wrestler", but I think that about every kind fighter with lots of heart underdog promo. Charlotte's correstpoinding interview was fine but nothing new.
(SD) More first rate heel work from Alexa Bliss. Shame it came as part of a pointless segment involving Naomi's return and a non-match because of more Nikki-Natalya stuff.
(NXT) Ember Moon defeated Liv Morgan in what would have been a standard time filler match, except they took the time to establish a reason for it last week, and then end this week with a handshake to cement the reason.
(SD) CLOTHES SHOPPING SKIT WITH CARMELLA AND JAMES ELLSWORTH DEAR GOD MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP.
(SD) Mojo Rawley is going to the Royal Rumble after winning a short ten man battle royal in which the Vaudevillains were INSTANTLY eliminated. Why is the WWE shitting on the Vaudevillains so hard? WHY?
(Raw) Goldberg completely fuckbotching his main event promo. Repeatedly. Paul Heyman comes out to help him, but it's still a mess. Brock Lesnar comes out to make sure you don't think the Royal Rumble isn't about any of the regular main roster talent. Speaking of which, as they tease a physical confrontatino, Undertaker appears in the ring and we fade out.
(Raw) Luke Gallows defeats Cesaro after interference as part of the weird-ass story where everyone's cheating and getting disqualified and shit leading to a match ON THE KICKOFF SHOW?!
(Raw) One of those pre-PPV mess of a mosh matches where Kofi, Big E, Enzo, and Cass wrestled Titus, Rusev, Jinder, and Braun Strowman in a match that existed solely for Strowman to pin Enzo and then back down in the face of Big Show as a Rumble tease.
(Raw) Rich Swann gets a pointless victory over Noam Dar, then calls out Neville, and they brawl for a bit to promote their match on Sunday. It didn't work. Also, Alicia Fox is still screaming at shit.
THE WEIRD, AMBIVALENT, AND BORING:
RAW: Gallagher, Perkins, and Mustafa Ali defeated Daivari, Nece, and Gulak in an attempt to use Gallagher and Perkins to introduce Ali to the Raw crowd. It worked OK. The match was OK. Gallagher appears to be legit over with the Raw crowd, which is nice to see. Chris Jericho retained the US Title via disqualification, but winner Roman Reigns got the upper hand and locked Kevin Owens i the shark cage, ad the only reason this isn't under BAD is that it implies an Owens win on Sunday, especially now that the match is no DQ. Nia Jax squash, followed by OK promo the crowd shits on, followed by Sasha Banks beatdown.
SMACKDOWN: Randy Orton beat Luke Harper and then Bray Wyatt Abigailed Luke Harper and this all means something for the Wyatt Family. Mickie James cuts her Official Heel Promo and then she and Bliss attack Becky Lynch. Ziggler squashes Kalisto and gets chased off by Crews. Dean Ambrose retained the Intercontinental Title in a lumberjack match my eyes kept sliding off of.
NXT: No Way Jose beat Kona Reeves and then got interrupted by The Drifterwho sang a shitty song ostensibly about Jose and everyone hates it. Eric Young squashes a dude and yells about Dillinger.
205: TJ Perkins got a rollup victory over Tony Nese, and Nese destroyed him post-match in what feels like a feud-starter.