Sunday, October 23, 2016

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (SD Live)

WWE finally gets "dumb fun" right on Smackdown
A fairly successful Smackdown this week, all things considered, thanks almost entirely to the Styles-Ambrose-Ellsworth stuff, which continues to be ridiculous gold.

James Ellsworth has a championship match with AJ Styles tonight. As he gets ready in the locker room, Dean Ambrose gives him a James Ellsworth t-shirt, already available for sale in the WWE Shop, and available at your local Goodwill in six months.

Randy Orton tells us that Bray Wyatt has taken the last bits of asanity from him. Which is bullshit. I don't care how many years he's spent entering the ring to "I hear voices in my head", his character has never been crazy. He plays a sociopath when he's a heel, not a schizophrenic. When he's a face, he's just a guy.

Anyway, Orton is facing Luke Harper, but first we have a Spookytron with Bray Wyatt in a coffin. Since Wyatt has never used a coffin before, clearly there's gonna be a casket match in their future. Wyatt interrupts and then interferes with the match, which makes Kane somehow appear in the coffin, and then, suffering a beating, the Wyatts teleport out. This whole thing would be subpar in Lucha Underground. Here, it's just sad.

The Alexa-Naomi time-killing mini-feud continues with another match. It's fine, and Naomi's (thankfully) been practicing her springboard. And she's got a very nice split-legged moonsault in her arsenal these days, too. But she gets crotched on the turnbuckle, and Bliss hits Twisted Bliss for the win. Not sure where this goes from here, if anywhere.

Apollo Crews is back from his milk carton, but unfortunately he's wrestling Curt Hawkins and his new gimmick. The gimmick really needs to be refined and honed to just the good parts. Hawkins talks shit before the match, Crews pops him one, so Hawkins leaves. Looks like SOMEONE found Eva Marie's storyline notes in a dumpster.

Carmella is out to give Nikki Bella shit for dating John Cena. Nikki plays the feminist card. Caqrmella responds with a Total Etc. compilation clip that, to be honest, makes some very solid points. Carmella gets the last word in, too.

Oh, hey, there's that six-man I knew would happen last week. Miz + Spirit Squad vs. Ziggler + Rhyter. Ugh. I'm tired of five and a half of the six people in this ring. There are shenanigans and Slater gets pinned. So more of this to come.

Looks like Natalya is trying out a new crazy schtick, kind of a cross between Jericho right now and a cat lady.

Styles-Ellsworth includes Dean Ambrose as guest timekeeper, guest ring announcer, and guest commentator all at once. Like last week's Styles-Ellsworth match, Ambrose is a constant, hilarious source of distraction. Styles dominates the match, of course, but there are some great spots, like when Ellsworth escapes a chinlock because he has no chin, or a very impressive superkick from Ellsworth. Ambrose goads Styles into a DQ, so he retains the title, but Ellsworth now has, as Ambrose reminds us, more wins over Styles than John Cena. Next week Styles gets his revenge on Ambrose, but if Ambrose wins, he gets a title shot. I think we know how that's gonna go.

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