Friday, October 14, 2016

Motherfuckin' Lucha Underground! (Open Road To Revenge)

Next Best THing
Just want to mention yet again that thanks to iOS 10 and the failure of the Internet to screengrab appropriately, I cannot show you the image that earned this week's MFLU moment.

OK, gotta put this out there. In our first vignette, we learn that Rey Mysterio is kind of dumb and can't act. Azteca is getting ready to face Pentagon Dark, but he's attacked by Chavo, with a cool "I'm getting hit in the head by a chair over and over and blacking out" POV shot. Rey comes in as Chavo is leaving, gives him the side eye, then sees Azteca and asks him who did it. "Was it Pentagon?" No, dumbass, it was the bad guy YOU JUST PASSED.

Then we get an overhead shot of Mysterio looking at the sky and shouting CHAVOOOOOOO! which I hope they meant to be funny, because that's how it played.

We start with one of the few actual two on two tag matches I've ever seen on Lucha Underground. Famous B and Dr. Wagner Jr., with Brenda in an increasingly ridiculous nurse outfit, face off against TEAM BAGEL BITES, who enter on a motorcycle with a sidecar and the sidecar has a Mascarita Sagrada paint job because, well, MOTHERFUCKING LUCHA UNDERGROUND. Shenanigans lead to Famous B pinning Sagrada with a stethoscope, but that's fine, because I could stand a few more weeks of this feud.

We get official word of Azteca's "injury", and then the announcement that next week will bring another Dario's Dial of Doom championship match and a Puma-Muertes main event. I'm fine with that.

But now it's time for Sexy Star to defend the Gift of the gods against Jack Evans. Evans dubs himself the Star Destroyer at the start of the match, because he's awesome like that. Star's offense looks better than I've ever seen it, and Evans turns the heel up to a thousand percent. Well into the match, we get some Worldwide Underference, which falls short, and is then countered by the Superfriends, sho drive off WU and then enable some gandersauce, as Sexy Star hits Jack Evans in the nuts with PJ Black's stick for the win.

Guess Rey was saving all his acting chops for the next segment inside Dario's office, where he calls Chavo a piece of shit, and gets himself inserted into the (now) Chavo-Pentagon main event as a three-way fight. Vignette integration continues, as Dario grabs a mic out of his desk in preparation for interrupting Michelle Santos' ring announcement.

The three-way is a rock-solid LU main event that goes down how you'd expect - Rey and Pentagon handling the majority of the work, and Chavo heeling it up throughout the match. Chavo knocks Rey off the top rope to set up Pentagon's package piledriver for the pin on Mysterio. Rey fights off the post-match arm-break, but Chavo destroys his knee with the chair post-match, first in the ring, then in the Tree of Woe after hitting the ref with the chair for good measure. So, after a few weeks for everyone to sell their injuries, will it be Azteca getting revenge on Chavo, or Rey?

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