|Goddamn I love this show so much.
Sexy Star wants her Gift of the Gods match with Matanza. She won't win, but it's a good time to put the medallions back into play so the midcard has something to fight over. Unless, of course, she doesn't get through Johnny Mundo tonight. Dario informs her that the Superfriends are banned from ringside. He doesn't mention that Worldwide Underground isn't, but the implication is there.
We open with Ivelisse vs. Marty The Moth, thanks to his post-match attack a few weeks ago. Ivelisse can't overpower Marty and loses, which I thought was odd, but then I remembered her "boyfriend", and sure enough, the post-match beatdown save allows Sami Callahan, whose LU name I've forgotten, to debut. Ivelisse is not happy. And she's even unhappier in the parking lot where Sami demonstrates additional scumbaggery.
Elsewhere in the parking lot, it's revealed in Dario's limo that Cage and Tejano are engaged in a best of five series in order to become A HOST BODY FOR A GOD LIKE MATANZA BECAUSE MOTHERFUCKING LUCHA UNDERGROUND THAT'S FUCKING WHY. Cage has to win the series - that's a role Tejano cannot pull off in any way.
Tejano and Cage have their match to see who gets to HOST A GOD and they fight like they don't know that's the prize. Which they don't. Cage gets cocky and Tejano pins him with a surprise rollup to go 2-1. That's probably a good way to go with this. Keep Cage dominant but keep the series going.
Rey Mysterio interrupts Dario staring into THE BOX WITH THE SOUL OF A GOD IN IT to ask for the Loser Leaves Lucha match they hinted at last week. "Sometimes you have to put a dog down for it's own good," Rey says, and it's a good analogy, even if it's not one I'm in the mood for this week. Dario says it's his main event for next week, which I realize in retrospect telegraphs the outcome of this week's main event.
Sexy Star matches are... within a range. When she's on, they can be very goo, but when she's not feeling it, they can be sloppy and clumsy. This is the latter. The match is largely saved by the overbooking. There are multiple ref bumps, extended interference by the Worldwide Underground, a save by The Mack, chair shots, and Mundo finally winning with the old Brass Knuckles In The Tights. Which means no title match next week, which means Rey-Chavo can be the main event.
Postcredits, the weird pseudo-mentory thing bteween Vampiro and Puma continues. Puma has avenged his title loss to Mil Muertes, but he hasn't avenged the "death" of Konnan from their season one casket match. So it looks like an Even Graver Consequences match is in Muertes' and Puma's future.