Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (SDLive)W

Smackdown has four matches to Raw's six going into Summerslam, so the 3:2 ration is being maintained. Smackdown's lead-in to the PPV is mostly boring and pointless, but had a couple of nifty things and one very, very offputting moment.
MizTV with Ziggler and Ambrose and their weird match dynamic opens the show. Thirty year old Ambrose keeps calling 36 year old ZIggler "kid", and we're still pretending Dolph hasn't won the title twice before. The ending to the segment is pretty great, though, with Ziggler superkicking Ambrose mid-sentence without the usual obvious buildup. Summerslam Prediction: I wold say Ambrose, but this story would usually lead to a Ziggler win, so I'm gonna say Ziggler and be wrong.

Either because of a technical fuckup or stupidity, we come back from break to watch Apollo Crews confront and powerbomb Miz for getting his name wrong. Well, to watch a recap of it, because the confrontation happened during the commercial, because fuck you, that's why. Summerslam Prediction: It's long past time Miz dropped the belt, so Crews wins it. This prediction will also probably be wrong.

The entire Smackdown tag team division comes out for a 12 man match - the four teams that threw down last week (Alpha, Hype Bros, Vaudevillains, Ascension) plus The Usos and Breezango. Nine of these twelve guys were on NXT in the past two years, which is even more impressive if you don't think too hard about who some of them are. The match is super-short given how many dudes are in it, and American Alpha gets the pin on the Vaudevillains for the six faces. No story comes out of this despite hinting that the Usos might have an issue with Alpha.

Naomi has new lightup entrance gear and a new theme befitting a time when they actually pay attention to how they package women. And it's a good thing, because she's the opponent for Eva Marie's third debut match. This time, she doesn't even make it down the ramp, because she's "stuck in traffic". 

Randy Orton beats up Heath Slater to maintain some sort of equity with Brock Lesnar, but Orton gets disqualified for punching Slater too much in the corner, so I believe that means that Slater gets a Smackdown contract and we won't see him on TV anymore. Post-match, Orton "delivers a message" to Brock Lesnar by giving  Slater a couple of shitty Germans and an RKO. Summerslam Prediction: This is a tough call. I think they're gonna give it to Orton whether I like it or not. And post-commercial, Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan cruelly prank a confused, delirioius Slater and take the contract away from him before he can sign it because that's funny and not going back on their word and super cruel?

Dean Ambrose wrestles Erick Rowan because new era or no new era, the Wyatts are still the jobbers to the top of the card, so that goes about as expected. Post-match, Wyatt walks away from Rowan, so maybe Bray is as sick of this bullshit as we all are.

Carmella and Becky Lynch tag against Natalya and Alexa Bliss, This is fine for a bit until we get to the point, Eva Marie showing up, which brings out Naomi, which leads to Becky tapping out Natalya to a very sloppy Disarmer, which sets up a three-on-three for Summerslam which I only know about because The Internet and an announcement I almost fast-forwarded through because it followed another Lesnar-Brock video package.. Summerslam Prediction: Who cares? I like two of them, am fine with three of them, and then there's Eva Marie, but it's a nothing match and will probably be second on the card and last five minutes.

Baron Corbin beats up Kalisto backstage in a bit I thought was a recap from last week because it was just like last week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena with AJ Styles on commentary is our main event, which is nice, because that's fifteen minutes of my life I can get back by fast-forwarding to the inevitable Cena clean win and post-match attack by Styles. Summerslam Prediction: This isn't even a real feud, just a microwaved feud from earlier this year to fill up time, so Cena will win. Even though Cena somehow won the post-match beatdown because he's John Cena, Cena will win. Even though he put Styles through the announce table to end the show, Cena will win. I'll be happy to be wrong, but Cena will win.

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