Weekly Wrasslin’ Wroudup (SPOOKY WEEK)

STOP MAKING ME WATCH YOU WRESTLE.

The nice thing about the build for Survivor Series and its accompanying NXT Takeover is that there’s a lot of building to do because all the matches are so weird. So a goodly number of Events Of Significance this week.

The Egos Of Old Men In Middle Management

Look, I like me some Kurt Angle. Really I do. Shane McMahon can go away forever and stop jumping off shit for the approval of his dad. The point is, right now, the big Survivor Series 5 on 5 match is Kurt Angle, Braun Strowman, and Three To Be Named Later against Shane McMahon, Bobby Roode, Shinsuke Nakamura, Randy Orton, and definitely AJ Styles after he beats Rusev next week. And it’s all about Kurt’s job and Shane’s shit and goddammit stay out of the ring.

WAR GAMES

The thing we all knew about because it was reported at tapings finally became official. NXT Takeover Houston will have an old WCW War Games match with two rings and a giant cage and tiny shark cages and timers and all three members of Sanity and all three members of the Undisputed Era and both Authors of Pain and Roderick Strong. Should be a glorious mess.

WWE Still Hates Me

They had not one, but TWO gimmick Halloween prop matches this week, one on Raw and one on 205 Live. And in both cases, they continue to refuse to call candy-corn painted kendo sticks KENDO CORN. Also, the one on Raw was about as bad as a match like this can be, featuring Gallows and Anderson in their Southpaw character costumes against Rhyno and Slater in Santa suits fucking around and botching spots for way too long.

Buncha Dudes Are Back

Samoa Joe is back (YAY). Nia Jax is back (OK). Braun Strowman is “back”, in that he was never gone for real, he was just riding around from city to city in trucks full of shockingly dry garbage.

Heel Champs Are Still Champs

Despite the brand matchups being heel-heel, neither Miz nor Alexa Bliss lost their title matchups this week. Not that I wanted to see Matt Hardy vs. Baron Corbin or Mickie James vs. Natalya, but heel-face dynamics are still important, right?

Something’s Happening With Sin Cara

I’ve tried to ignore it for three weeks, but theyr’re sorta pushing Sin Cara as Baron Corbin’s opponent, first giving him a countout victory, then a DQ victory, and now a no contest after beatin gthe shit out of Corbin for fucking with his mask. And a backstage interview. I’m not saying I care pre se, but I might have to start.