PREDICTIONS: Hell In A Cell

What everyone wants to see. Middle management in a cage.

No Weekly Wrassling Wroundup because the closest thing to an Event of Significance this week was Kalisto joining the Cruiserweights, which is as anticlamctic as you can get. So instead, let’s go straight to the Hell In A Cell predictions.

Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin vs Hype Bro (Kickoff)

Assuming they bother to care, Gable and Benjamin’s story is that of the overenthusiastic fanboy and the cranky older dude, presumably leading to a turn and a breakup. That’s not going to happen here. Gable and Benjamin will just win. Maybe the Hype Bros will break up, because they’ve been teasing that too like anyone gives a shit.

Bobby Roode vs Dolph Ziggler

This is one of those tough to call matches because it depends on whether or not they’re committed to this as a feud going forward or if it’s just a time killer. IN the case of the former, Ziggler wins, the latter, ROode wins. Roode should win here because Ziggler’s new thing is stupid and tedious, but the WWE loves committing to stupid and tedious, so I’ll say Ziggler wins and they do this for at least two more PPVs.

Randy Orton vs Rusev

Having b et on Randy Orton once in 2017, I am legally and ethically prohibited from doing so again, because fuuuuuuuuuck Randeh. Rusev wins and I get this wrong.

WWE United States Championship: Baron Corbin vs AJ Styles (c)

Please. They’re not taking the belt off Styles. He retains, regardless of the match finish.

Hell In A Cell (SmackDown Tag Team Championship): The Usos vs The New Day (c)

This is the end of the current New Day / Usos run, and I don’t see any way the New Day doesn’t come out on to, even though the next logical contenders are Breezango, who are faces.

SmackDown Women’s Championship: Charlotte Flair vs Natalya (c)
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OK, we gave Natty a title run, that’s fine, now ut the belt on Charlotte where it belongs. Charlotte wins.

Hell In A Cell: Shane McMahon vs Kevin Owens

Kevin Owens should win, but he stood tall on Smackdown this week and Shane McMahon is Shane McMahon, so McMahon will win and I will be sad.

WWE Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura vs Jinder Mahal (c)

Mahal got the upper hand on Nakamura on Smackdown, and it’s long past time for Mahal to go back to the midcard, because he’s shown me nothing as champ that makes me want to see this much of him. Nakamura gets the belt, and hopefully a long run.