Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Inhumans: “Behold... The Inhumans” / “Those Who Would Destroy Us”

No, really. They showed THIS to people in IMAX. 
This is a surprise to nobody at this point, but Inhumans is hot garbage.

No, wait. That’s not accurate. Think about garbage. Then think of whatever garbage temperature you personally find the most appealing. Inhumans is the opposite temperature of that.

It’s amazing. Showrunner Scott Buck, fresh off his success at making a Marvel show with a protagonist without any appealing qualities (Iron Fist), has now made an entire Marvel show without any redeeming qualities.

It’s Shakespearean, in the same way that gas station sushi is “sushiesque”. Two brothers, one who can’t talk and one who shouldn’t, vie for control of a gutted Ikea store on the moon. Maximus, the brother who shouldn’t talk, is an Inhuman without any superpowers. He’s a sexually predatory populist without the natural charm of a Donald Trump. His brother, Black Bolt, has a voice so powerful he can never use it, and, as a result, is the best actor on the entire show.

Here’s how bad Inhumans is. They don’t use Black Bolt’s full comics name, Blackagar Boltagon, and if they had, it would have been better.

Black Bolt’s wife, Medusa, has magic hair for like the first half hour, and then it gets too expensive despite looking like complete shit the entire time, so it gets cut off in a scene I’m sure was intended to have emotional resonance.

The show also includes shitty covers of “Break On Through” and “Paint It Black”, two of its crimes against humanity I haven’t seen mentioned much elsewhere.

Nobody can deliver any of their lines well or consistently. You can assign blame for that wherever you want, I guess. I blame everybody.

But Inhumans’ worst crime? It manages to be as bad as it possibly can be while never quite crossing the line into “hilariously entertainingly bad to watch”. Which takes a certain unfortunate talent.

I do plan to hate-watch the rest of it, mostly because it’s only eight episodes and cancelling it off the DVR at this point is more trouble than it’s worth.

No comments:

Post a Comment