MOTHERFUCKING LUCHA UNDERGROUND! (Episodes 5 and 6)

Don’t know why this worked as well as it did, but damn.

Lucha Underground picks up a a ton of steam after an off week, with the consequences of last week’s Three Way To The Grave match playing out against a backdrop of Aztec medallionage and gradually increasing insanity and death.



STORY STUFF:

Fenix is, at least for now, dead. Catrina took his life force, causing her to transform from ghost to person, and from Mortal Kombat Onesie to Red Dress. Which she wears into the locker room to taunt Melissa Santos. Catrina gives Melissa her half of the Magic Necklace (since she no longer needs it) and this may pay off with TELEPORTING GHOST FENIX or it may just be a thing that happened.

Antonio Cueto wants the Gauntlet of the Gods. King Cuerno says it was stolen from him. This sets up the Aztec Medallion match below.

At the end of the second episode, the White Rabbit Tribe is brought to the White Rabbit by Mascarita Sagrada. In exchange for his guidance, the White Rabbit demands the sacrifice by bludgeoning of Sagrada, and Paul London obliges. Enjoy your recontextualized jobbers!

WRESTLING STUFF:

Episode 5 starts off with officially a match with zero stakes, as Jake “Jack Swagger” Strong squashes Big Bad Steve and snaps his ankle post-match. The crowd is super into Strong for some reason, and keeps chanting his name, which is probably good because it’ll remind Swagger not to shout “WE THE PEOPLE”.

Worldwide Underground defeats Kobra Moon and Daga in a tag match thanks to Worldwide Shenanigans, but post-match, Vibora appears, sporting a new mask, a beard (may have been there during Aztec Warfare but I’m not sure) and some new acrobatics out of Luchasaurus. He destroys WWU and they pose and threaten Johnny Mundo.

The newly powered up Matanza squashed Mr. Pectacular in a Sacrifice To The Gods match, which means after the match, the lights go out and Pectacular vanishes, presumably having been eaten by / sacrificed to Matanza. Bye, Pecs.

In the main event, King Cuerno defeated Chavo Guerrero, Jr. to win an Aztec
Medallion. The match was solid. Chavo may be the second most capable late-40’s wrestler I’ve seen, after Chris Jericho. Cuerno joins Dragon Azteca Jr. as the first of seven Gift of the Gods entrants.

Episode 6 kicks off with another Matanza sacrifice. This time it’s Cortez Castro who suffers the one move squash and vanishing/death. They’re culling the herd big time.

The next three matches have a total of four of the Aztec Medallions on the line. Ivelisse, fresh off her hammering of Jeremiah Crane, defeated Joey Ryan in  a decent match.

Next up, Antonio Cueto pits his three Trios champions against each other for an Aztec medallion. Oh, wait, not one Aztec Medallion - TWO medallions. They go to the two wrestlers who don’t get pinned. Which sets up a dynamic I’ve never seen in a three-way match before, and a fun finish where Killshot hits his finisher on Son of Havoc, eats a Stunner from The Mack, and The Mack has to quickly decide which of his two teammates he likes more. He chooses Son of Havoc, pins Killshot, and oh, the drama!

Finally, in one of the greatest hoss-offs of all time, Mil Muertes and Cage tore the shit out of the Temple in what may be my favorite match of the season so far. It was full of dynamic energy, some surprising moves (including trading off hurricanranas, which is insane for these two dudes) and a bit towards the end where Pentagon Dark, disguised as a fan in the stands, beats the shit out of Cage and costs him the match.

So, the Gift of the Gods match will feature Cuerno, Ivelisse, Son of Havoc, The Mack, Mil Muertes, Dragon Azteca Jr., and a mysterious seventh. Right now, I’d place odds on either Mil or Cuerno to win, but who knows who the seventh could be. If it’s Matanza, all bets are off.