Friday, March 31, 2017

NXT (2/29)

Don't start being appealing now.
Unlike 205 Live, NXT has its own event this weekend, so a lot of people get to play. And so we get some final build for Takeover and a match that angers me for the wrong reasons.

The tag title match got the traditional "one guy from each team in a match" match, but since the teams are DIY, Revival, and, to a lesser extent, The Authors Of Pain, the resulting match was a lot of fun. The Revival stole the pin from the Authors.

Fatty and Boombalatty, or "Heavy Machinery" as NXT calls them because I'm better at team names, squashed a couple of jobbers and, in the process, may have opened my heart to them. They have new singlets that make them look less gross (hear that, Killian Dane?), and they've developed a double team offense based mostly on crushing people between their bellies. And they're doing all of this with just enough self-awareness and light comedy to start to work for me. Which irritates me.

The only thing worse than a contract signing is a backstage pre-taped contract signing where one wrestler can't cut much of a promo, one can't speak much English, and William Regal just doesn't give a fuuck. I mean, the Asuka-Moon match is gonna be fantastic, but this signing was dogshit.

And speaking of irritating and not giving a fuck, Kassius Ohno and Elias Samson had a "Loser Leaves NXT" match. We need to talk about Ohno's ring gear, and the fact that his entrance gear is a very large basketball jersey that he wears over a smaller identical basketball jersey he wrestles in. That's just offputting. Anyway, Ohno wins in a match that does nothing to change my opinion of either guy, so Samson's done. There are rumors they're calling him up to the main roster, which makes no sense to me unless there's a desperate need for someone that Apollo Crews can beat every three Smackdowns. Post-match, Ohno smashes Samson's guitar, which maybe means a repackaging before the callup? We can dream.

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