Thursday, October 6, 2016

Weekly Wrasslin' Wroundup (SD Live)

Like so much else, a good idea dragged out way too long.
One show left before No Mercy, which is probably gonna suck super-hard. Let's see what Smackdown offers to get us ready.

We open with a huge SPOOKY-OFF, as Bray Wyatt faces off against Kane. They lumber around the ring for a bit, then Randy Orton jacks Bray's Spookytron gimmick, appearing upside down on the big screen to taunt Bray. This doesn't lead to a Kane victory, but it does lead to a Kane attack and Bray ditching the ring for a countout. Whee.

NO MERCY PREDICTION: It's a pay per view culminating in a month long sppoky feud, so Bray Wyatt will lose. Also, Randy Orton's last two PPV's were being humiliated by Lesnar and not being able to compete thanks to Lesnar, so there's no way he's losing three straight.

Baron Corbin and Jack Swagger have a backstage confrontation that does neither of them, nor the audience, any favors. Lots of staring and awkward posturing.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Now Bray Wyatt is fucking around Spooky Backstage looking for Randy Orton in a mirror image of the dumbest thing to happen in WWE all month.

Next up is Alexa Bliss vs. Nikki Bella with Carmella at ringside. Carmella's accent keeps sliding between Long Island and hearing-impaired, but not for long, because shit breaks down in a way consistent with a rival being at ringside. Becky Lynch makes the save before the dual beatdown even gets started. This turn into a tag match post-commercial. Alexa pins Becky with Twisted Bliss, just confirming my prediction.

NO MERCY PREDICTION: Becky Lynch isn't dropping the belt after one month, and Alexa's in a classic "honor just to be nominated" position.

OTHER NO MERCY PREDICTION: Carmella will probably defeat Brie Bella via some form of shenanigans, because I don't see the women's devision shaking things up for at least another month.

Tag team action reminding us who exists featuring the Vaudevillains vs. the Hype Bros. Mojo Rawley has found an exciting new way to be the most annoying guy on the roster, and for some reason The Ascension are on the entrance ramp. The Villains get all-but-squashed, which is a goddamned shame.

Miz is out to host a "Dolphumentary" promoting the Title Vs. Career match. The documentary is pretty funny. Dolph responds by saying "At any time, I could've walked away. But I couldn't.", which distracts from his intensity a little. Miz brings out two members of the Spirit Squad in an epic troll, and after too much old schtick, they attack Ziggler, but he eventually gains the upper hand.

NO MERCY PREDICTION: There's a lot of scuttlebutt around Ziggle's status with the company, but it seems like bullshit to me. Ziggler wins. 

Jey Uso wrestles Jason Jordon to I guess promote the Uso-Rhyter championship match. Jordan wins quickly with a rollup so we can get to the post-match beatdown and save by Slater and Rhyno.

NO MERCY PREDICTION: Usos are guaranteed to win and, I suspect, send Rhyno and Slater back to singles wrestling. I mean, they're already setting up the Uso's championshipJ          feud with American Alpha with this bit.

Jack Swagger, not really repackaged in any way, defeats Baron Corbin by Did He Really Tap Submission. So I bet that's our No Mercy kickoff show match.

NO MERCY PREDICTION: Corbin's gotta win this, right? I don't like him, but even he shouldn't be losing to Jack Swagger.

And finally, our main event gabfest featuring AJ Styles, Dean Ambrose, and John Cena. Styles gets some shots in, but Ambrose brutalizes Cena on the mic, which of course leads to an AA for Ambrose and Cena standing tall. AJ hits the Forearm on Cena and he stands tall. And then Ambrose hits AJ with Dirty Deeds on the entrance ramp and he stands tall. That wasn't awful at all.

NO MERCY PREDICTION: Styles retains. John Cena is talking about Ric Flair's 16-championship record, but if he ever ties it, it won't happen at a single-brand late fall PPV, and it won't happen the month he decides to try for it. And it's certainly not time for Ambrose to get the belt back.

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