Saturday, February 25, 2023

FIG PHOTO SERIES: Danhausen Gorilla-Press Slams An Increasingly Ridiculous Series Of Things

So, I have this Danhausen figure from Zombie Sailor Figures, and I knew as soon as I got a Danhausen figure I’d want to take picures of him battling all kinds of shit. But the Zombie Sailor figure can only do one wrestling move - the Gorilla Press Slam. Technically he can only do the Gorilla Press, and the Slam has to be implied. 

So, I figured I’d go through the collection and see how many things I could get Danhausen to gorilla press. Most of these are single pictures, by the way. I only resorted to compositing Danhausen and the liftee together once we got into the really big stuff.

These are ranked in increasing order of plausibility, so we start with fellow AEW nwrestler and occasional Danhausen antagonist Maxwell Jacob Friedman, AKA MJF. Perfectly plausible. Let’s move on.

WWE wrestler Xavier Woods. Danhausen fan, but he works for a different comnpany so it’s slightly less plausible.

Squirrel Girl. Perfectly reasonably-siz-sized to be gorilla pressed.

The Tick, but it’s the Funko Pop Tick, so not as implausible as a properly-scaled Tic


Shao Kahn, from Mortal Kombat.

Darth Vader. Would I have been happier if I had a Black Series Palpatine and re-created the end of Return of the Jedi? Sure. But I don’t.

Classic Power Rangers monster Eye Guy. Why do I have a bunch of quarry pictures sitting around my library? That’s what we call FORESHADOWING.


Squirrel Girl, but now she’s in her scooter! 

The Juggernaut!

An entire fucking horse!

Voltron! Lion version, of course.

And finally, the Starship Enterprise (NCC-1701-D). 

Look, it’s my free time, and I’ll spend it how I want.

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