Tuesday, May 22, 2018

The Flash: “We Are The Flash”

Still not the dumbest-looking thing on Barry’s head over the course of the series. But it’s close.
I think I finially need to come to grips with the fact that The Flash is just a bad show. It was an OK show for one season and a bad show for three seasons, and I had to look up how many seasons it’s been because I’ve been pummeled into apathy.

The finale starts with the effects of Devoe’s satellites, which we’ve been told will “reboot all of humanity” the way the dark matter thinking cap affected Harrison Wells. They even reiterate in this episode that Devoe manipulated and predicted that Harry would become his “proof of concept” for it. So the satellites go off, and as the preview suggested, they made technology stop working. Mostly. Except for Star Labs, which just had its stuff go mostly dark for a couple fo minutes.

Maybe everyone was gonna get stupid once the Random Progress Meter hit 100%? I don’t know. Don’t care.

Anyway, we spent most of the episode in Devoe’s mind, which, being the mental landscape fo a super-intelligent supervillain, is slightly desaturated and has a couple of lens flares at all times. Ralph’s in there, of course, and the audience was ten minutes ahead of Barry realizing that “the good inside Devoe” was actually Ralph, and several episodes ahead of Barry in predicting that Ralph would be restored by the ned of the season.

He’s restored by going through a hole in Devoe’s mind, which The Flash could run him through really quickly, but instead they spend a lot of time fucking around clouding their minds with shrimp and Iris so Devoe won’t know what they’re doing before running really fast through the hole, which Devoe would know they’re doing but can’t stop. Does Ralph have the powers of the other eleven bus metas? I bet he doesn’t. Why doesn’t he? I bet we’ll never know.

So then Devoe is a digital ghost for like 45 seconds, before crashing Star Labs sattelite but Barry punches it and also Nora punches it and it blows up and everyone’s safe and Devoe’s wife suddenly has a magic box that fixes Harry only it only sort of fixes him and everyone’s kind of a dick about it until Harry explains that he’s happy and then leaves because he’s a Harrison Wells and it’s the season finale of The Flash.

Nora, of course, is the future speedster who’s been showing up since Crisis On Earth X, and is Barry and Iris’s daughter, and apparently next season or the first two episodes of next season will be about the consequences of HER messing with the time stream, because that was so much fun the last time.

This show is bad and I should feel bad for still watching it.

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