Saturday, February 16, 2019

An Old Nerd Wonders Where The LIghts Will Stop

A thing is happening on The Road!
They call it the Road To Wrestlemania, which is apt, because much like any road to an exciting destination, it’s pretty boring, and if something happens to change your trip it’s probably because something’s gone horribly wrong.

Anyway, Elimination Chamber is the first stop on the Road, and at least, unlike Fastlane, it has an important thing happening and an elaborate, ridiculous structure for it to happen in.

Buddy Murphy vs. Akira Tozawa (Cruiserweight Championship)

I think Murphy has to retain this. They haven’t really built any kind of story around a second title run for Tozawa. Where it gets complicated is that they don’t have a clear opponent to face Muprhy at Mania either, so there’s no need for him to keep the belt per se. But I’ll still say he keeps it. Maybe they can use this to start a real belt chase for Tozawa.

Braun Strowman vs. Baron Corbin (No DQ)

Filler match.I’m gonna be a bit contrary here and say the no-DQ this time is to give a bunch of heels with nothing to do at Mania the ability to beat up on Strowman setting up some kind of cluster filler match at Mania. 

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush (Intercontinental Championship)

I’ll probably be wrong about this, but it feels like the story they’re telling here is a quick transition feud to put the belt on Finn so he can defend it against someone interesting at Mania, so I’m going to say he wins the belt. I’ll probably be wrong and it’ll be Finn-Lashley feuding for two more months and wrestling at Mania and that makes me sad.

MizMahon vs. The Bar (Smackdown Tag Championship)

I don’t want to pick MizMahon here but I have to because, well, they’re going to retain the belts somehow and this garbage plot will continue.

Ronda Rousey vs. Ruby Riott (Raw Women’s Championship)

Rousey. Duh.

Bryan vs. Styles vs. Hardy vs. Orton vs. Joe vs. Kofi (Elimination Chamber, WWE Championship)

Bryan’s gonna be the champ at Mania so this is all just filling time. He retains.

Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Riott Squad vs. Mandy Rose/SOnya Deville vs. Naomi/Carmella vs. IIconics vs. Bayle/Sasha Banks (Elimination Chamber, Women’s Tag Championships

OK. Logic first. Naomi and Carmella are the only team with no history as a team. They won’t win. As much as I’d like IIconics to win, they won’t because they’re not... winning things. Same goes for Mandy and Sonya, who may get the belts when the new season of Total Diva’s premieres but not now. Riott Squad without Riott = Jobbers. That leaves Tamina/Jax and Bayley/Sasha. First Champs is a historic prize, though, and I don’t see them handing the historic prize to anyone except Boss and Hug.

No comments:

Post a Comment