Sunday, December 11, 2016

Motherfuckin' Lucha Underground! (Bulls Of Boyle Heights)

So much better than mooning over Daga.
All of hte in-ring action this week revolves around the Lucha Underground Championship, as a new tournament format is started to pick a new #1 Contender, while Sexy Star seeks revenge and a rematch.

The Battle Of The Bulls! Not sure why we need this when the Gift of the Gods medallions are up for grabs, but it gives Dario Cueto lots of opportunities to say "BOOLS" so I'm fine with it. Sixteen competitors, four four-way matches to determine the four finalists who will compete in another four-way match to determine the contender.

We got two of the matches this week. First up is Cage, Texano, Dr. Wagner Jr., and Joey Ryan, who, let's face it, has to wrestle sometime. Solid Lucha underground action, lots of big strength spots from Cage, including a couble fall-away slam on Wagner and Famous B. Joey Ryan manages to get in at least one strong offensive sequence in, which is nice, but he ends up taking the pin from Cage, who sort of stole the pin after Texano hit him with his finisher. This furthers the Cage-Texano Best of Five series. Not as much as actually putting the fourth match on, but still.

Qualifying match #2 features Dragon Azteca Jr., Marty The Moth, The Mack, and Mil Muertes. Another excellent match, with the big twist being the interference of THE MONSTER MATANZA CUETO. Pre-match, Dario mentioned to Matanza that Dragon Azteca Jr. would be wrestling, at which point Matanza SMASHED HIS BROTHER'S HEAD INTO THE CAGE BARS, took the key, let himself out, and attacked DAJr in the ring. Dario was barely able to get him back under control. Dario losing control of TMMC is a story with a ton of potential. The interference allows The Mack to hit a running Stunner on Marty to take the second spot in the finals.

Meanwhile, Sexy Star demands revenge on the Worldwide Underground for her title loss last week. Dario makes her an offer - beat PJ Black this week, and she can face Johnny Mundo in a steel cage next week. But lose, and she'll never get a shot at the title again. The match itself is not one of Star's best - she has good matches and bad matches and Evans was not the best foil for her - but she did end up winning thanks to botched interference from Jack Evans. I don't know what the cage match is gonna be like, but she works well with Mundo and in a hardcore situation, so I have hopes.

Around that, we have some heavy, heavy story vignettes. Angelico, who's never talked this much before and has a weird voice, wants Johnny Mundo, but Mundo's lawyers are running interference. As a compromise, Cueto enters ANgelico into the Battle of the Bulls. Story would imply that he wins it, but with Cage and Mack already in the finals, that might be iffy.

Kobra Moon teaches us all how many acting sins can be rectified by a giant golden snake throne. Turns out it's almost all of them. She orders her generals, Pindar and Vibora, to humble and bring the former third general, Drago, back into the throne. Pindar and Vibora are tricked out like you'd expect a couple of Lucha Underground snake wrestlers to be.

And Officer Reyes is going even deeper undercover... by becoming a masked wrestler! This is the kind of plot twist that requires the world of Lucha Undergound to not be the dumbest thing in the universe, because why would a criminal and murderer like /Cueto, under investigation by the police, let mysterious masked wrestlers hang around him without knowing who they are? Because the mask is sacred, dammit. And because MOTHERFUCKiNG LUZCHA UNDERGROUND.

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