Monday, December 10, 2018

A Dude Pissed His Pants And Pissed Off An Oldnerd

How Things Should Be
This show was mostly garbage and they jobbed out Smackdown at (nearly) every opportunity, so I’m just going to run through this quickly

Tag Team Survivor Series Match: Smackdown wins.

The only match Smackdown won the entire night, a fact the company refused to acknowledge during the show and only grudgingly acknowledged after the fact. (1/1)

Women’s Survivor Series Match: Smackdown

Nope. Raw and NIa Jax.(1/2)

Seth Rollins (Raw) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Smackdown): Nakamura via Deanterference

No Dean, Rollins won. (1/3)

Authors Of Pain (Raw) vs. The Bar Show (Smackdown): The Bar

Nope. Big Show was involved in the finish. He scared Drake Maverick into pissing himself, distracting The Bar so that AoP could win. And Maverick’s pee has been an integral part of Raw’s tag booking for the two weeks since, in case you were thinking wrestling wasn’t cool. (1/4)

Buddy Murphy vs. Mustafa Ali (Cruiserweight Championship): let’s give Ali the belt for a while.

Or don’t. Best pure match of the night, at least. (1/5)

Men’s Survivor Seris Match: Raw wins.

Raw won everything. The match was awful. (2/6)

Ronda Rousey (Raw) vs. Charlotte Flair (Smackdown): Ronda Doesn’t Win Clean

Yep. She won by DQ after Charlotte snapped and beat the shit out of her for like eight minutes in the most entertaining segment of the entire show. (3/7)

Brock Lesnar (Raw) vs. Daniel Bryan (Smackdown): Brock’s winning this.

In theory, this was a good match. It started out as a lengthy Brock squash, then Bryan had an intense rally that actually made you think he would win, then he got beat by Brock. That aspect of it worked. I’m just fucking over Brock Lesnar and Lesnar with the belt and Lesnar dropping people on their heads. (4/8)

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